Being Served with papers Change4better: I all, Here I am, being served with seperation papers from STBX after 15 years of marriage and 2 beartiful Girls. I know this site is for ppl under 35, but I couldn't find any other sites around for My age range (42). Nevertheless, Our break up was caused of Lack Of communication, and appriciation. The only thing that she keeps telling me is that She is Extremely Angry of the situation and at me. So I say why serve me the papers while she is feeling this way. Although i love her very much and want to work things out, i'm learning to let her go and give her space. Could it be of, me not contacting her and not calling her, living my life, and not chasing her a reason why she is angry and doing the papers. Needing advice. all I want to do is give her what she wants and go on with my life. I refuse to press the issue with wanting her back and or telling her that this marriage can work, when it will only lead to her pulling away even further.
Re: Being Served with papers PiscesGoddess: Change4thebetter-
First off I am sorry you are going through this..ack! I dont know what to say other than do what you have to do in order not to cause yourself more pain..which is also what I think she is doing ??? I was reading back through some of your posts and you said you got to the point of just sitting on the couch.. sometimes the lack of attention communication can drive a woman away emotionally and alot of times they leave the marriage alot earlier than the man..at least inside their hearts. I know its not fair ..but it happens.. Does she take your lack of not calling as another sign of not caring? (Im not saying you didnt care..Im saying thats what she thinks possibly) I dont know..this is tough.. I dont have the answers here other than do what you need to do to get through this.. because perhaps if she has went so far as to file papers then she is done..but if there is that nagging doubt in your mind then can you guys at least have a conversation? I wish you the very very best whatever way this goes. and dont worry about being over the age "35" limit alot of people on here already are. ;)
Best wishes-
Pisces
Re: Being Served with papers BigRunner493: sounds like she may want you to "react" favorably (in her opinion). maybe she wants you to apologize, beg, etc. to get her back. no one wants to be pressured into a reaction. it seems like you've answered your own question though. if you are comfortable with her finding herself and being happy without you, then maybe its for the best. sometimes we just need a fresh start.
br
Re: Being Served with papers Change4better: thank you for reading. I think i know what i have to do, its just that I feel she is doing this because she is so upset that she can't even think straight, (being upset and unable to think straight is what she told me once), and i feel she may regret what she is doing later on. I just don't know what to do , other then signing the papers and getting it over with.
Re: Being Served with papers BigRunner493: just remember that nothing is permanent and if this is what she feels she has to do, then maybe it's best just to let it run it's course. maybe when she sees that she isn't getting the reaction out of you that she expected, then she may come to her senses (if that's what you want).
words can't be taken back but papers can always be shredded!
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