Does it get easier after you move out? kfc75: So for the last 3 months STBX & I have been living in the same house, but seperate lives in seperate bedrooms. The only reason we stayed like this so long was because of my son & neither of us really had anywhere to go, and we have talked about a lot of different options. Anyway, now everything is set, the house closes on Aug 26th, I have bought another house, she is moving in with her mother.
The last 3 months have been really hard, because sometimes it just seems so normal, for the first 6 weeks she would cook and do my laundry, probably out of guilt. We have also been trying to act as normal as possible around my son. During the last 3 months I have also found out way more about what she is doing than I would like, things I would just rather have not known about.
I am so stressed about everything, I am finding it hard to work, and I am a consultant so I only get paid for what I actually produce, so I am stressed about actually making enough to pay for my new house. Why do I spend so much time trying to concentrate and work, but never get anything done. I have been working on a project that would have taken me 1 day before all week. I just want my head back... get out of my head! Good thoughts, angry thoughts, sadness, the need top understand is killing me.
SO my question is, did it get any easier once you had moved out? And is there anything I can do to help myself get past these thoughts and on with my life? I wish I could move away and never see her again, but we have a son together.
I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS!!!!
Re: Does it get easier after you move out? Bubba: Oh yeah moving out helps. It will be lonely at first because you are use to living with someone, but after a few weeks you get use to it and you start to rather enjoy the freedom. I have joint custody of my 2-1/2 year old. One week I play daddy, the next week I am alone. Trust me, after a short time you get into a routine and everything starts to get better, till one day you wake up and realize you have moved on and you are over it.
Cheers,
Bubba
Re: Does it get easier after you move out? alonewith2: I totally relate to the concentration at work point. When my STBX and I first separated and he moved out, I couldn't get anything done at work. At that time, I managed a little video store, but it wasn't very busy during the day. I had tons of time to just sit and think..... I wanted to be busy so that I didn't have to, and what really made it hard was the drive to work and back. The drive was about 40 mins and it gave me time to think. (especially since it seemed every song that would come on the radio would remind me of my situation) Finally, I decided to give myself a half hour every day just to cry and to think.....then when that half hour was up, I made myself move on. If a thought popped up, I would write it down, and tell myself that I could dwell on it more when my next 1/2 hour for crying and thinking came around. Hope you can find a solution....not being able to work/make money will only add to the problems. Good luck!!
Re: Does it get easier after you move out? kfc75: Bubba, I am going to have the exact same custody situation, one week on one week off! Daddy one week, free the next!
I am still scared about having my 22month old son on my own, even though I work from home and spent alot of time with him everyday, she always had all the answers when needed! I think a lot of it is anxiety about the unknown, I will probably do just fine!
I am not sure if the loneliness will be such a problem for me, in the last 3 months we have spent maybe less than 2 hours a day in each others company, just try and keep out of each others way
Re: Does it get easier after you move out? minneapolis: In my case I didn't move out, my STBXH did. But it definitely got easier once he did. I mean it was harder for a time, coming home to an empty house, seeing only one toothbrush in the toothbrush holder, cleaning out his crap...that kind of stuff. But after that it got so much easier. It will get better. Promise.
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