A Little About Smiley Smiley17: A little bit about Smiley.
So, I've been on the boards here since March, I think, and in that time I've been through quite a bit and have made a few mistakes. I've also made some great friends. But, Smiley isn't perfect, in fact, I'm no where near.
After my latest set back, I've realized a few things about myself:
1. I can eventually come out of my shy shell and make people laugh. I've found that I love that. To me, nothing's better than hearing or seeing someone's laughter at something I've said or done.
2. I can be down right mean sometimes, especially if I feel cornered, or someone else looks like they are. One of those habits that formed during my life that I'm trying to break.
3. I'm learning not to let people take advantage of me. Perfect example - Fluffy. He's been a thorn in my side since January. I'm slowly learning to get rid of him - completely. I deserve much better. He's a fluffy version of my stbx ex.
4. I thrive on chaos. If I have nothing going on in my life, I create something to challenge me. I get bored easily, too easily. That can be dangerous. I need to re-evaluate that.
5. I have no problem now, admitting my faults - hence this post.
6. On a positive note - I gave some damn good advice yesterday, and I was able to help out 2 incredibly sweet people. I felt really good after that; just being able to help a little.
7. I don't panic and freak out as much as I used to. Maybe with all the chaos and blow ups that my life has presented me, the rest of the world just doesn't feel like that big of a deal anymore.
8. I'm slowly getting the courage to give the Gas Guy my number. Even if he's not that physically attractive to me, maybe he's a really nice guy who needs to be admired too.
9. I still haven't written that letter to my stbx yet, but it's on the top of my list as soon as these freakin' birthdays pass!!
10. I'm learning not to take things so seriously anymore.
Some of my closest friends who have watched me the past 2.5 years tell me how far I've come, but I won't fully believe that until my divorce is final. That's my biggest hurdle and as soon as that is complete, I'll be complete. I'm throwing a HUGE Ojar party when the papers are filed, and when the divorce is final!
I haven't forgotten the lessons I've learned, and I know I've come a long way emotionally. I've learned so much. Now it's time to take the tangible steps, and learn the tangible lessons. Soon, very soon.
Thank you to those of you who have been there for me, and thank you to those of you who have taught me how to have fun again. I'll love you all for that for the rest of my life.
Think I can get into heaven now?
-Smiley
Re: A Little About Smiley whatnext: Nice post SG. It's good to take stock of ourselves from time-to-time. Really good.
Re: A Little About Smiley Smiley17: Thanks, Buddy! That means a lot to me! :D
Hmmm... a nice compliment from whatnext?? It must have been a good post! LOL!! :-*
Re: A Little About Smiley buyrbware: And I accept this Academy Award under the pretense...... ;D
You go Girl! ;D
Re: A Little About Smiley sigkapgirl: Yay for Smiley! ;D
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