Re: Life altering experience Lumpy: This is a passage from a book I've been reading. It's not specifically referring to divorce but I do think you can relate it to what you're saying...
Here is the truth about tragedy: It's good for the soul.
The fact is, I'm a better person because of the deaths. If every cloud has a silver lining, this one is admittedly flimsy. But there it is. That doesn't mean it's worth it or an even trade or anything like that, but I know I'm a better man than I used to be. I have a finer sense of what's important. I have a keener understanding of people's pain.
I wish I could tell you that through the tragedy I mined some undiscovered, life-altering absolute that I could pass on to you. I didn't. The cliches apply--people are what count, life is precious, materialism is overrated, the little things matter, live in the moment--and I can repeat them to you ad nauseam. You might listen, but you won't internalize. Tragedy hammers it home. Tragedy etches it into your soul. You might not be happier. But you will be better.
From Tell No One by Harlan Coben
Re: Life altering experience Mart: No more tears,
I feel the same way. I will never be the same. I feel I will never get over him and over the fact that my life has been destroyed by him. I have to rebuild by how? I wish I would stop loving him so I can move on.
I guess we need to find something positive in what happened, try to grow from it and use it in our future relationships. I am just not there yet.
Mart
Re: Life altering experience riversandlakes: [quote author=Lumpy link=topic=17024.msg145555#msg145555 date=1123909474">
Tragedy etches it into your soul. You might not be happier. But you will be better.
[/quote">
Thanks, Lumpy.
I know I am not truly happy. I may laugh at jokes, or listen and give thoughtful advice (hence can be concerned about others' well-being), but how does one become happy when a couple in front of me held hands and it struck home?
When I see various girls with small silver (might be platinum) rings on their middle fingers, yet mine took off the much thicker gold ring from hers? They just seem so committed...
I am indeed better. Career-wise, and EQ-wise...
