Re: Wow! Chey: Mart...my honest opinion? You are the mistress of your own pain here. You are allowing your misery and pain to continue by not giving yourself a break from him. He was very clear in what he wanted...and it isn't a future with you. He may be a wonderful terrific guy, and he probably is, but he also told you very clearly (via the breakup prior to the wedding) that he is not ready for a future with you.
So...all the mixed signals are going to drive you absolutely batty until you realise that you have complete control over this. While he is confused about his feelings he will continue to see you, to be with you, to want to be in the comfort zone of your relationship....and how is that healthy for you? You have no time to grieve to mend to try any kind of attempt to move on while you are constantly bombarded by his presence in your life.
You need to take a break...you need to ask him for time for yourself, and you need to have the strength to do it, because he can't. He's suffering a lot of guilt from breaking this relationship up, and is dealing with it by trying to "help" you through it, and while it's very noble it's also very unhealthy.
I really hope you manage to understand that you deserve the chance to heal and to become the person that you should. In time you might both get back to a place where you WILL be together but that time is not now. Gain strength back for yourself so that you're both on an even playing field again.
Best of luck Mart
Chey
Re: Wow! Mart: [quote"> He was very clear in what he wanted...and it isn't a future with you. He may be a wonderful terrific guy, and he probably is, but he also told you very clearly (via the breakup prior to the wedding) that he is not ready for a future with you.
[/quote">
The problem is he was not clear. He cancelled the wedding but does not know why (or tells me he does not know why). He never said ok our relationship is over. I asked him and he said, yes I think so. He added that he loved me will always love me, but .... he does not why he did what he did. You see, it always been a guessing game with him. I know it is over because he brings up the division of property regularly.
I am not hanging on to him. I am just trying to live with the pain of loosing him. I know I lost my soulmate and my best friend. I just need time to deal with the fact that he left me/our relationship.
Mart
been clear that he never wants to see me again.
Re: Wow! judy: Mart,
I'm in the same situation as you right now. The emotions that come with this are so draining. One sentence he gives a ray of sunshine, then in the next conversation, he talks about his future without me. I agree with Chevy we need to get out of this. They are obviously confused and no where near a decision. I'm starting to get numb, and I know it's starting to effect my relationships with family and friends.
I know I need a kick in the butt, it is a hard decision to cut those strings.
Judy
Re: Wow! Mart: Hi Judy,
I agree it is hard to cut the strings. Please kick me in the butt!!! :)
Mart
Re: Wow! confused_hubby: <KICK> :o
Did that do it for you? ::)
Be strong! ;)
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