I HATE HIM!!!!!! lonelywithouthim: I'm tired of missing him!!!!!!! tired of thinking about him 24/7. he's out on a saturday night having fun, probably with some other girl and i'm home 5 months pregnant with a 13 month old watching law and order.
He acts like he hates my existence. I know deep down inside that its just a front, but i'm sick of it! I'm sick of him seeing me cry and him not caring! he used to hold me and comfort me, now he gets in his car and drives away. He wont answer my calls anymore, period. He's stopped answering my text messages too. I havent called since yesterday and I don't intend to. How long is he going to go without seeing his daughter? He even has his Mom mad at me and she bailed on seeing my daughter this weekend also. I give up. I'm trying so hard to move on and get over this, but it's SO hard. Especially when I'm laying in bed and I feel our child kicking me, and I remember how he used to love to feel it. I hate him!!!!! Why did he do this to us?!?!?! He's nothing but a cheater, and a fake, and a bad father now!!!! He used to be the sweetest man in the world.
Why can't i give up hope? Why cant I accept that its over? I keep hoping that if I try this and that that he will come back. This is my last straw, no contact. I will file for child support on Monday, and there will be NO contact until we go to court and he has visitation. I will NOT call him!
I survive on the hope that in a month he will call me and realize it was the biggest mistake of his life and beg me to come back and we'll be happy for the rest of our lives.
I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: I HATE HIM!!!!!! jadedangel: [color=navy"> :hugs: .... I wish I could say something that would make it all go away, but I know better than that. I feel so similiar to you--I feel like he just wants me to remember he doesn't care about me anymore and certainly doesn't need me in his life---but, I haven't graduated to hating him for it. And, I so wish I could. I am trying to move on, but things still get me down .. and I hate that---but I can't give up hope and I can't accept things.
Good luck with the no contact-- it sounds like you need that break for yourself from him. I also hope he realizes his mistake, but in the same hope --- I hope you have moved on and can shove it in his face like he is sorta doing to you right now ;)[/color">
Re: I HATE HIM!!!!!! alonewith2: I remember wondering why the children all of a sudden didn't matter anymore, too. It was painful to know he walked out on me, but it was even more painful to realize he left the kids, too. It was that thinking that finally pushed me over the edge. I remember how after 4 months he called up and said he wanted to come over and have a "family dinner." It was the week before Christmas, and at first I was reluctant because I was finally getting past most of the BS I was feeling, but I decided to do it for the kids. I had told P that he was coming over, and we made a nice spaghetti dinner (with the works), but of course he never showed......P refused to go to bed that night because he was convinced that "step" was going to come.....finally, I got him to sleep at around midnight, then I called STBX only to find out that he had gone Xmas shopping with the OW and her mom. WTF? It was then that I had decided that hurting my son was not a game I was willing to play anymore.......
