Still trying to write until there is nothing left... jt5639: 2 in one week...aren't you lucky...
This week sucks...I'm thinking of you so much... I miss you so much...do you miss me? Do you think of me? How is it f--king possible for you to have a girlfriend? I don't f--king get you. I can not believe you were actually looking for rings for me nad 2 months later are with someone else...who you've introduced to your family...who will be there for the birth of N&A's baby..that was my life you a*hole...did I mean that little to you? Are you really already over me and have been for months?
Do you realize just how much and how deeply you have hurt me? Do you have any understanding of how awful you were? I hate that it seems like the easy way out is working for you. I hope she breaks your f--king heart...I hope you realize someday...you will...I'm sure it won't be soon, but you will...you'll never be able to hold down a LTR with your attitude toward commitment...
I hate that you've had a g/f for 4 months now, and I'm here on a Satrday night crying over you...I hate that part of me still wants you back...am I just an idiot?
No...your the idiot...5 years L, and it was special...you know that...how dare you throw it away...how dare you disrespect what we had so thoroughly...
Some days I feel like this could break me...right now I sorta feel that way...but I won't let it..I will continue to work on myself and become the beautiful person I wish to be...I will be succesful, patient, loving, I will not shut my heart to people, I will find someone worthy of my love, my loyalty...and you will realize how much you screwed up...how lucky you could have been...hhow much love you had...and loyalty in me...how you threw that away because you were too cowardly to face up to the real you...
How can I be filled with so much love and so much hate at the same time?
