feel trapped trapped: I'm 25 years old and my marriage is an arrange marriage. I was force to get
married. Problem is that I have been married for 8 months and I have came to realize that we nothing between us. The more and more time
passes by, the difference between us gets worst and worst. We are at a point where we don't have anything to say to each other or have sex. Sex is partly my doing. I can't seem to get myself to have sex with her for 2 reason: One I can't have sex with her, because I have no desire for her and second is that I feel guilty for having sex with someone that I don't have desire for. We sleep on the same bed, but might as well be 3 bedrooms apart. Divorce has cross my mind many times, but I feel bad because person I married has no one here in this country. I don't want to abandon her ( I do try to make her more independent where she doesn't need me financially, physically, and mentally). I also feel bad because she deserve a loving marriage and I can't give that to her.
I want to know views from both sex. What should I do?
Re: feel trapped charmed: Welcome to Ojar ;D
You say your marriage was arranged. Did you have any part at all in the choosing of your wife?
I can't say whether or not you belong together. There definitely are issues in your marriage, but are they ones you are willing to work on? I believe the solutions lie where the problems are - within the marriage, not outside of it. It's easy to think that somene else is more compatible when you are having problems in your marriage, but realisitically the grass is rarely greener on the other side.
I would suggest putting the energy you give to your friend into your marriage. You may see your wife in a different light. I feel that being forced into a marriage causes many problems. But, given a chance you might find some great qualities that your wife possesses. Do you feel that maybe you are rebelling against the "arranged marriage" in some manner?
You say you don't find your wife desirable? is this from the physical aspect or otherwise?
I would look close at what you have versus what you might be running to if you choose not to stay married to your wife. Look at the solutions before making any hasty decision.
I wish you the best-
`charmed
