Re: My dad is a cheater. alonewith2: My mom and stepdad split up when I was a senior in high school. I was the last kid home, so I was the one that had to deal with it. I still remember my mom showing up to the football game that day for parent appreciation day. She was crying and a complete mess. It was all she could do to walk out on that field with me, when the others had both their parents there......I was never in the "middle" of that splitting up because I never had the chance to see my stepdad again. If he ever came back, it always happened while I was at school. But I was there for my mom. I had found letters in her room 6 months later where she was contemplating suicide. I missed a lot of school during those months so that I could stay at home just to make sure she didn't follow through with those actions. Finally my cheerleading coach and a few other teachers noticed my absences and pulled me aside to question it. They tried to put me in counseling for it all, but I told them that I was fine, it was my mother that needed the counseling. She finally started to seek that help through others her own age that would have a better understanding of what was going on, and it did wonders for her. I am happy that I was able to be there for her, but at the same time, I knew I wouldn't be able to offer her the advice and support that she really needed.
I think you need to find someone to help your mother through this. You really shouldn't be in the middle, no matter how much you want to be. It is okay to be there to comfort her, but you should not be her lone support system. She needs to discuss this with people her own age. People who won't be hurt by what she may say.
Re: My dad is a cheater. whatnext: Scopinion,
I'm really sorry you have to go through this, and that your privvy to too many of the details of your parent's adult relationship. I went through something similar, and while, at the time, I thought I knew what was happening, 20 years later I STILL learn new information about my parents' divorce.
I just want to caution you that you aren't privvy to ALL the details, and if I were you I would try to maintain the best possible relationship with both of your parents. It may seem like this is all your father's fault... but you really don't KNOW that.
Still, IMO, your anger is normal, and understandable. You have every right to be angry.
I know what you meant: your father cheated on his whole family. I felt the same way... but it wasn't totally true. Adult relationships are pretty complex, and even though what your father did was wrong, unless he's a total a--hole, I imagine he has some pretty strong feelings about you and your sisters.
I imagine he loves you to death.
Don't worry about what your mom does for money: let her do that, it's her job.
You hang out with your friends, laugh and cry with your sisters, and try to keep on the best track you can.
PM me if you want. Good luck.
My dad is a cheater. Scopinion: I found out yesterday that until three months ago, my Dad was cheating on my Mom.
I had no idea, and I know that she didn't. She kicked him out, and I'm glad for that, because I feel so hurt and betrayed and angry that I know if he was in the house it'd be Hell.
I don't know what she's going to do, though. I don't know if she's going to try and make it work...if either of them want to or think they can. My parents have had problems in their marriage for as long as I can remember, and I'm pretty sure this wasn't a one-time thing, anyway.
I don't know how me and my mom and my sister will do if my parents divorce. My mom hasn't worked in a couple of years, and even though she could probably find a job pretty easily, all the positions open to her are ones she hates, which is why she left work in the first place.
I don't know what to do. I'm at a friend's house right now...after I told them last night we went out and tried to have fun, and I'd forget for a little while and then it'd hit me for a minute.
He didn't just cheat on my mom. He cheated on his whole family. I hate him for it.
Re: My dad is a cheater. Shanna: (((((HUGS)))))) to you! Welcome to Ojar.
