questioning meaning behind sons comments alonewith2: My son came back from his dad's this weekend....he wanted me to get him a drink.....I was busy at the moment, and told him I would get him his drink in a second when I was finished doing what I was doing.......he replies by telling me that if I didn't get it for him right at that second then he would never do me a favor and get me a drink when I asked him. And then he went on to say that I should not have had step (stepdad, my STBX) move out because then I could have had him get me my drinks......
So now I am totally confused by his comments......I only ask him to get me a drink once in a while and I don't know what that had to do with me asking step to move out?!! What is he really trying to tell me? That since I can't get to his needs right away, that I should have step move back in and help me? I'm lost and confused on that one.
Re: questioning meaning behind sons comments sourpuss: sounds to me like your son is "lost & confused" as well. children tend to repeat behaviours they have observed. they also see events happening around them in a much different context than we do, they do not understand the complexities of adult relationships.
do not try to interpret his comments. sit him down and talk about the situation. perhaps he feels he is being put in the position of taking the stbx's place in the household.
Re: questioning meaning behind sons comments alonewith2: Thanks sourpuss, my son has been acting very weird and it is usually only after he comes back from his dad's. He went through a period of baby talk, he went through a period of talking about guns, he went through a period of playing with lighters, and he also went through a period of playing with razors......most of his behavior has been hidden, but I find the evidence later. I have explained that me and his step are just not getting along and that we had to move apart. He says he understands this considering he was privy to one of the last arguments my STBX and I had before we split up. I try to protect my son as much as I can from what is going on around him and assure him that nothing has to do with him (ie not his fault)....but I'm wondering what goes on at his dad's house when he is there. I don't believe a lot of his actions are due to what is going on between me and his step, but has more to do with what goes on at his dad's house when he is there. I have mentioned some of these behaviors to his dad, but it doesn't seem like he is too interested in finding out what is going on......usually it is me and my STBX that deals with these issues concerning my son. I'm just not sure if I should put him in counseling or not. I mentioned it last year to his teacher during a parent-teacher conference, but neither the teacher or myself followed through. I guess I don't know what to do, or how to do it.
