I think my ex is reading Ojar AloneandCold: I just got into a huge fight with my ex. Over what? Heck if I know. He went upstairs to "check his scores" on my computer and comes down saying he is going to get his own place (works for me) when the lease is up because I keep making him out to be the bad guy. Uhh.... you were fine ten minutes ago when you walked upstairs... WTF?? So I ask him, do I lie? no. Ok so how am I making you into anything? If all I do is call it like it is then I am not making him a bad guy he is doing it all by himself, right? He says he PITIES anyone I am ever with because when I argue I always have to be right.... ok doesn't everyone thing they are right when they argue? Wouldn't they not argue if they think they are wrong? example from our lovely little fight. He says I did not pay enough attention to him on the vacation, that I talked to my little brother more then him and that I was ignoring him. I said I did not intentionally ignore him and if I talked to my brother more it was because he talked to me. If he wanted to talk he should have come over and talked with us. He says he tried but I still talked to my brother more..... ok....... um first why do I need to give you attention in the first place? And second I was just talking to whoever was by me, not consciously ignoring you. Then he says it is useless because I have to be right.... what the hell does he want me to say? That I was trying to ignore him when I wasn't? He keeps saying I make him into the bad guy so I asked him what I had ever done to him? I never told anybody off of Ojar all the crap he has pulled on me. As a matter of fact I have gone out of the way NOT to let people he knows, know how he was. He says there is something I have done to him but he doesn't want to talk about it. Then don't bring it up dummy. He just says don't worry about it. I have no idea what he is talking about it. Everything I have ever done in our marriage or after for that matter has been above board and I have gone WAY out of my comfort zone and away from looking out for myself to make sure he DIDN'T get screwed over in any way from the whole deal. I tried to tell him about his mood swings and he says I am only saying that to make him look bad and make myself look like a victim. HOW IN THE WORLD IS TELLING HIM WITH NO ONE ELSE PRESENT MAKE MYSELF LOOK GOOD? Good to who? Him? It doesn't even make any friggin sense at all. Ever time we disagree he just starts going "your right, ok" "your right" then he complains that I always win the arguments. DUH you friggin idiot, you can't win an argument when you refuse to give your point of view. I am going to think I am right, what does he think I just disagree with him for the hell of it? The thing is what if he is right? What if I really just always have to be right and no one will ever want to be with me because I will just bring them down? What if I just like to look like a victim? What if its like me telling him about his mood swings. He didn't want to hear that about himself, he couldn't see it. Maybe I just can't see it too. Crap, maybe I just need to stay alone. I have too many issues for anyone to want to even begin to deal with. I always say when something is wrong but I guess I don't know how to compromise or back down. I have to be right, I have to have the last word. I think back to whenever we have fought and he is right, I don't ever remember thinking "you know I am wrong and he is right". I have my opinions and I guess I am just stuck in them. When I remember the reasons we have argued even now I can not think how I was wrong. Maybe I'm one of those woman thet men hate to be with. The ones that drag them down and make them hate themselves, or her, the kind of women they avoid. HAHAH what is sick is I feel bad writing this because now I feel like I am trying to sound like a victim. I'm just going to ruin any relationship I touch. And J if you are reading this, which I have a feeling you will, go away and let me have some sort of privacy, what do you care if a bunch of strangers hear me whine about you? Leave me alone. You happy now? I hate myself along with you, now just leave me alone for the rest of my life, ok?
Re: I think my ex is reading Ojar amola: bug........
{{{{{HUGE HUGS}}}}}
i swear i could have written that almost word for word.......it all sounds so familiar......
hang in there.......it will get better.......
:)
amola
Re: I think my ex is reading Ojar frustratedgirl: im sorry to hear that. One thing I found, that I dont like about ojar, is that everything is easily found through google. If you put in some key words from your post, you will find it in google and it takes you right here. Ive heard a couple stories where the both people were using the boards and realized it later on... It sucks when you cant have privacy. I know as well... my... whatever he is, doesnt know I come on here. He would FLIP if he knew some of the stuff I was really thinking. Good luck, hopefully he has enough respect to leave you be.
Re: I think my ex is reading Ojar dirk8: Generally, wouldnt it be a good thing if your ex found Ojar? Doesnt that means that they are tormented by their decisions too? So there is some hope. ::)
Re: I think my ex is reading Ojar AloneandCold: He only found Ojar by getting on my computer and going through my favorites. He doesn't know what privacy means. This is the same man who will come up and stand by the door to my room at 5am if I am up and listen to see if he can figure out what I am doing. Respect is a foreign concept to him. and he doesn't care how I feel, never has. Its just all about how it makes him look.
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