phone call from my dad set me back.... sylvia3113: My dad called me tonite. Mind you, I haven't talked to my parents in weeks and weeks. My mom & I email now and then, but I just can't deal with my sorrow and anguish in their presence for some reason. They mean well and I know they care and even worry, but we are not touchy feely and I just cannot discuss the demise of my marriage, my romantic relationship and my heartache with my parents.
He's gonna come over and mow my lawn and do some minor house repairs (that my husband would normally do) while i'm on my solo to san fran. I felt so pathetic when he asked if i was going by myself and i had to say yes. I was choking back tears and I'm sure he could tell.
Yes, I am a big loser and my husband would rather be with someone else than me. Yes, I am a big loser and I don't have enough friends that I could find even one to go with me. Yes, I am a big loser and I live in this house all alone and can't even hang vertical blinds (my husband took all the tools, most of which i bought him as gifts) or clean out the gutters (scared of climbing ladders).
I know my dad doesn't think i am a big loser. I know that. He is proud of me and has compassion and worries about my well-being. Apparently, the fact is that I think I am a big loser.
I guess I really have no point to this other than to get it out.
Re: phone call from my dad set me back.... dirk8: at least you have a house ???
Re: phone call from my dad set me back.... freovir: i know nothing i say can make you feel like less of a loser, but i just wanted to say that traveling alone is great. you are subject to only your own whims and fancy, which allows travel to be a true adventure - the way it ought to be.
have a great trip and take advantage of the solo-ness.
--fre
