need advice trucker: Hello, I am a 33 year old man who is single never been married. I recently
met a 38 year old divorced woman who has two children one son age 12 and a daughter age 10. She is a registered nurse who is employed in a major hospital with 20 years work experience. I have two businesses that I own. The reason I mention this is because this way she knows that I have no intentions of being a "sponge" or trying to take her financially.
Her mother and my mother are good friends (this could be good or bad).
she is very attractive and sweet at the same time. She is very kind and gentle. Very soft spoken. She was married 15 years and now divorced for about 4 years. Her mom said she has not dated but once since her divorce.
Since I have never been married I do not have any idea of what she has gone through. I do know her ex-husband was verbally abusive, jealous and controlling. I have the most respect for women since I was raised by a single mom who had to work extemely hard to make ends meet and be "everything" to me. I had the best childhood anyone could have ever hoped for all because of my mom. This speaks a great deal about my respect and admiration of women.
We went out on one date, went to dinner at a nice restaurant, went to a comedy club and hung out at her house afterwards for a couple of hours.
everything went great. She was very happy. She hugged and kissed me bye that night. She even kissed my on the neck (whew! wee). I really like being with her and we can chat for hours it seems.
The one thing I notice is that she does not always return my phone calls.
She told me she was extremely nervous on our first date. I assured her she did not have to be and just be herself. She smiled all night. I think she got scared after the date was over because I have to call her a couple of times before she returns my call. Don't get me wrong I am not being a pest to her I will wait a couple of days between calls. I do not want to intimidate or be pushy to her but i certainly find myself wanting to cuddle with her. Its been a few years since I have met someone who I want to be this close to.
our last date she cancelled because she said she was ill. I believe she really did feel bad there has been a flu bug going around. I hope she did not get so nervous she could not go our with me and I hope she really likes me. Advice please?
Re: need advice AmyMarie1972: My advice would be to continue with what you are already doing. You are already giving her reassurance when you go out. You are not pestering her constantly. All you need to do is give her time and take things at her speed. She was married for a long time and there could be trust issues with men in general that she has to combat which may explain why in the four years that she has been single she has not dated.
Do not ask her about her past or try to find reasons or explanations for her not returning your calls straight away, wait until she brings up the subject.
Hope that things work out for you
Amy
Re: need advice freovir: trucker,
any guy who hits the internet to find out how to be more understanding towards his potential mate get props in my book.
being married and going through a divorce all i can say is it is hell, pure unadulterated hell. don't be surprised if she has issues with trust, committment, and intimacy. it is very likely that she will be "gun shy." all you can do is be patient, empathetic, and try to support her. at the same time do not be a push over. be yourself.
good luck,
--fre
Re: need advice Cowboy12: ditto to fre's advice, you sound like you are taking it slow which is good for both parties..
If I could add anything, I would try to find out a little bit about her background and why she got divorced . i know you may think that's being a bit sneaky, but its best to have all the facts before you commit to anything more long term. maybe ask your mother.
I say this as my stbxw stated in her counterclaim that I was verbally abusive, jealous and controlling, totally un-true, but hell she had to make up something to justify her behaviour.
Just my .02
Re: need advice mine: be paitent......
