I am new to this....so here goes..... Gem72: I was married for 9 years, divorce final this year, we have 2 kids, I've been dating, I don't consider myself to be unattractive but I find myself going from one relationship to the next. I have several friends going through the same things I am and I can't figure out why is it that I have to have companionship in my life. Why can't I just be happy being alone. Sometimes I am (probably most of the time) but I do seek comfort from others (not sexually) but just wanting someone to hold me etc..
I recently was in a 5 mth relationship and although I knew it wouldn't work out in the long run I continued to hold on and I feel b/c I needed that comfort of knowing there was someone in my life. Eventually he ended the relationship (I am usually the one to end the relationships I've been in). This made me do things I never thought I would do...I didn't want to let go even though my mind said it was the right thing.
Now, I've been dating again. I've met some pretty good guys and now I find myself not wanting to get too attached for the reason I don't want to get hurt.
I just am at a loss. Take it a little easy on me....I am new to this....but I do like honesty....thanks!
Re: I am new to this....so here goes..... mine: if you are seeing a genuinly decent, person they will understand this too..
take it easy on yourself....
but please do not let your insecurities from a past relationship ......get in the way of what could be a beautiful future
with good communication , and paitence on both sides
you will be fine
ant
Re: I am new to this....so here goes..... Gem72: I agree I shouldn't allow my insecurities to get in the way but I am proceeding with much caution this time. The last guy I was with he told me he loved me, wanted to marry me very early on in the relationship and then he just stopped.
I have learned from that relationship and that is why I am trying to take it a little slower this time. Although I've been asked out quite a few times, I find myself putting them off and not even going out with them. I guess this is what happens when you get hurt in a relationship. Since I ended my marriage, I never felt the pain of someone leaving me until the last relationship I was in. After I was hurt, I called my ex and told him that I was sorry to have ever caused him so much pain. He really appreciated me telling him that but I felt I owed it to him.
Re: I am new to this....so here goes..... mine: it sounds to me ....that he is very insecure too
and it ran away from his dream
Re: I am new to this....so here goes..... Gem72: I don't know if the guy I dated b/4 was insecure or not. Maybe it was the newness of a new relationship is why he told me those things...who knows. I definitely enjoyed the time we had together but it was also a long distance relationship which didn't help things either. I actually wanted to not continue the relationship b/c of the distance and me having kids, etc.. but I really liked him so I kept seeing him. I'm trying to look past him though and move on.
Now I want to focus on me and be happy the way I was after my separation and before my last relationship ended. I do think I have gotten over the last guy but I do occassionally think of him but it also has made me put my guard up. Maybe I just need to start allowing myself to go out with these other guys.
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