x families inebr: Something that keeps choking me up when I think about my stbx and our breakup is thinking about my in laws. They live far away but I got to spend a lot of time with them over the years and they really loved me and vice versa. It wasn't always easy getting to know them and everything, but I have grown to love them very much. Some members of my family met them in March and my family kept telling me over and over what wonderful people they are. And they are. And ...well, having a difficult family myself, I FINALLY felt like I had the family I always dreamed of. This all kind of sounds silly and I know a huge part of their love for me comes from the fact that I am married to him, but it felt good to have them. When I think about not having them in my life as my family is killing me, it's really hard to think about. It feels really bad.
Did any of you out there not just have to deal with the breakup of your marriage, but also feel the grief from losing your inlaws and the extended family they provided?
Re: x families hurtingverymuch: Absolutely!
I consider my s2bx's family, my family as well. I love them very much and they treated me (and still do) like part of their family.
I think the thing that I will miss the most is spending Christmas with them. When everyone was home with kids, spouses, etc. there was always a housefull, lots of visiting and company.
So, yeah I'm feeling the grieving over the loss of this part of my life as well. :-/
Hugs
Hurt
Re: x families niceguy: My mother actually just spoke with her mother on Sunday. Her mother said she cries for me and because of the loss of me every day. No one in her family can understand why she is doing this. Her father says I will always be his son in law no matter what. I do miss them and I know the holidays will be rough this year.
I enjoyed spending time with them, and sure they had their issues just like any other family, but I loved being a part of it. Now that's all gone.
Totally there with you!
Re: x families Billsfan709: There are two sides to my experience..My ex had only her mother..she was the perfect in law, quite, never interfered..I loved her, got her stuff all the time, called her "Mom"..she bawled when she came over that last time and said, "goodbye"..I got the sense from her that her that she knew her daughter was going to pull this, eventually..and she had prayed that it never would..she told me I was all she ever wanted in a son-in-law..the poor woman..this is probably going to happen to her again..
My parents loved the ex..my mother and her were very similar..just like the old saying goes, "You marry your mom." My mom never had the bisexual issues and the other baggage like ex, but she was manic depressive (SUCCESSFULLY treated by prozac, it saved my realtionship with her), had commitment issues, etc. but she and my dad are still together..when she heard ex was just up and leaving, was not willing to give it a shot, and was in love with OM, she was devastated..she tried to talk my wife out of leaving..fruitlessly. Obviously, now she would strangle ex if they were trapped in the same room together..I'm glad mom lives back in PA ;D..just my mom looking out for me, I guess.
Chris
Re: x families ataloss: The loss of my in laws was very hard for me to take. I've only spoken with them 2 or 3 times since the separation 8 months ago. Each time had ended up with lots of tears and questions that I had no answers for. I think that we all realize its too hard for us to talk anymore (at least for now).
I relocated out of state after college to be with my husband. So over the last 11 years or so, they had become MY family as well. He has a huge, crazy family and although they were hard to adjust to sometimes, I still grew to love them. So when my husband left, he took himself and a large part of my support network with him. I was (and still am) very angry at him for that.
Over time, it gets easier to take, but I still miss sharing in all the good stuff. Especially around the holidays when I can't be near my own family.
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