Re: Divorce is final today moni: I keep trying to take each day at a time. Some days are easy, some others are very hard. It was definitely a hard this past week. I keep telling myself that I am happy. That I finally have closure. That the marriage was just not worth it towards the end. But, I still need to grieve the relationship. I 'm simply tired of being sad, of crying, of not knowing what to do with my life. I feel that at 34 I should finally have some things figured out, but I'm just a mess right now. I want to be whole, I want to not feel so much pain anymore. I want my life back. I just can't figure out a way to get out of this hole right now. I'm just miserable. I tell myself and other people that I'm doing just fine, that I'm happy, that I'm moving on with my life. I'm training for my fourth marathon, I finished my first triathlon, I went to France by myself because I wanted to prove to myself that my life is not over. But, despite all of that stuff, I'm just miserable. It's been over a year since we separated. When am I going to be okay??????
Re: Divorce is final today Mooneyes: I wish I knew how long it takes. I tried things like going on a vacation by myself. (although I don't run without bears chasing me). It seems you are doing things to have goals and a future. I keep wishing there was some step by step process. You get a process like a science experiment or a recipe and you follow the steps and you check them off and then you are through and you eat cake. Unfortunately I'm not getting cake only muck, I think my recipe is missing something and possibly out of order.
Good luck to you. Perhaps we can figure out a healing process together.
Re: Divorce is final today moni: I like the idea of having a recipe. By natuer, I am a very goal oriented person/. I make to do lists, and I had my life mapped out. I always figured that I would go to school, finish school, start on my careers, get married, have children, work on a mortgage, and simply be happy. I thought that I ws on my way to getting my goals accomplished. A year before the separation, I had been focusing on having children, on wanting to have a family, and being very clear about it. He just wasn't on the same page. He totally pulled away, and decided that he wasn't having "fun" anymore. I was absolutely devastated, and I can't seem to get over that hurt. The fact that I may no longer have a family causes me so much pain right now. I just want to get over this.
