Re: Hot and Cold Rachael: I know that I am hurting...I feel it all the time.
I also know that I don't want him there out of a sense of obligation. I want him to love me... I asked him if he wants to leave and he said that if he did, he would be gone...but that he does not want to talk about it while he is thinking. I have agreed to that because it seems the more that I want it, the less he is willing to give it to me. I am so afraid to be on my own with the boys.
Re: Hot and Cold Smiley17: RMR -
I'd say at this point that he might have someone on the side already, or has someone in mind and he's unsure as to who to be with, you or her. Even if he's not having an affair, he's thinking about it, and that's usually a pretty bad sign. I'd say that things will never be the same with you two again, and that he's already checked out emotionally.
I'm usually not this brutally honest, but seeing how you have 2 boys (like I do), this is probably something you need to hear. He doesn't love you, and he's not in love with you. In most cases like this, as soon as the other person is "looking" especially if he admits it, it's pretty much all done. He looks for sex with you because his mind and other things are stimulated, and since he has you home and able, he has the best of both worlds.
You can do one of two things:
1. Stay in the marriage for the sake of the kids - BAD IDEA.
2. Leave the marriage and start to rebuild for yourself AND your kids.
I'd go with option 2. Why? Because staying in something like this WILL destroy your self esteem, which is already on it's way down the tubes. You can prevent this from slipping past the point of no return and/or nervous break down, by ending this marriage. Check the laws in your state for separation, you may be able to stay in the home with the kids and ask him to leave, but don't get up and go before you do this.
I know it's difficult when you're so in love with someone, but sometimes, most times, it's better to let something like this burn, and move on, than it is to stay and destroy who you are. Where will that leave your kids then? Why should YOU be miserable for the rest of your life? There's no reason for that - none!
Keep reading and keep posting, and if you need anything, feel free to PM me.
Hang in there, keep you chin up, and get "mommy strong"!
Re: Hot and Cold Rachael: Thanks everyone...I am leaving work now, but will check in later. I know I have a lot of decisions ahead of me. I just have to take one step at a time.
