Re: Mother-in-law causes divorce Grinning_Madly: Might I ask why you kept dating this short bus dweller when you saw what the lay of the land was with his mother?
I'd have run like hell -- PRONTO.
That said, are you perhaps dealing with a cultural issue? I'll bet you are. And even if you are not, this is still bad news indeed.
Culture SUCKS. It can kill a relationship; culture is a way of life to that person and it is not possible to breech the issue.
And she called you by an exDIL's name? Your H. has been divorced? I'll bet also that his mother was one of the reasons why come his marriage bit the dust.
(for any of you newly-divorced/newly-separated members tuning in and contemplating the dating scene, always always ALWAYS ask "Why did your marriage end?" and listen carefully to the answer. It should give you more than enough insight to decide whether or not you want to proceed with dating the person)
At any rate, you are in for a rough ride ahead. If you do not put your foot down and insist that you and he ARE THE FAMILY now and that YOU COME FIRST and NOT his mother, this nonsense is going to go on for as long as your marriage lasts.
And if he chooses to leave? You will see what you had all along: nobody much. In which case, I'd let this loser go and let him go back to his mother. That is exactly where he would indeed go if you read him the riot act.
Look at what else is happening: he cannot and will not speak up for you -- I'd demand that that bull end here and now.
And if he refuses? You know where you stand on this.
Good luck. This was one of the issues that killed my marriage and I refused to put up with it. Betcha you can't guess where my xH has been living for the last nearly 16 months....
Re: Mother-in-law causes divorce jackass: I'm sure at this point my stbx's mom had a great deal to do with my wife leaving me. She never did like me. She never did really want me to be me. Always had problems with my ways, and always had to accuse me of treating her daughter bad, which is horseSh!t. All the times I was there for her daughter when she was in that cult. Putting my job at risk, getting her out of it.
I think i might jsut have highjacked this post, sorry.
Re: Mother-in-law causes divorce hudson: Cheers to whiskey, sourpuss and Medusa for realizing that the MIL isn't the real problem here, but the husband. If he doesn't learn to stand up to his mother and represent you as his first and foremost priority you will continue to have problems with this. TRUST ME.
Re: Mother-in-law causes divorce Mart: Yep, my ex chose his mother over me. He was not able to cut the cord. I love his mother and I always thought that there was place for her and me, but now I know that was not possible.
He is now living with his parents. He admitted it that he loves it at his parent`s home because he has no responsabilities. They (really his mother) do everything for him. He is the only child. He did live in an apartment alone when I met him, but his mother would go clean, do his laundry, etc. I have a career, so I was not able to care for him like his mother did. I never thought, even for a minute, that he would chose his mother over me.
He has not admitted this obviously. I still am not totally sure why he left.
So.... I know what you are going through. Just don`t jeopardize your beliefs and your life for his relationship with his mother, because in the end, he will chose who he wants to chose.
Momma`s boys.... I heard of them before meeting my ex, but never thought the relationship between a grown man and his mother could be this sickening. I now know to stay away from these men that are unable to totally commit because they cannot detach themselves from their mothers.
I hope your ex realizes his attachment with his mother and chooses the right person... his wife.
Take care,
Mart
Re: Mother-in-law causes divorce elijah13: What's funny, is that she a co-worker of ours has told me that she is frustrated and doesn't know what else to do, because I won't give up. I guess I would fold and go away. The past few days my DH is talking about moving to florida, 1100 miles away!!!! I was shocked.
Maybe he has noticed all this nonsense.......I wonder. She is none too happy, because she HATES florida. I stay with him because aside from the MIL issue he really is a remarkable husband and a very involved father. Doesn't drink, drug, party or abuse physically. Plus the fact that I am not known for giving up easily. I won't let her get the best of me. Now what I do is if we go anywhere or do anything I call her and tell her what a WONDERFUL time we had........I can almost see the smoke through the phone.
