Re: Let her know ? or be Strong ? lostboy:
Everyone is right so I'm pretty much going to echo their sentaments. I agree with spinning to a degree. But be careful of painting your self as desperate and needy. Right now that is what WILL push her further away than anything else. Unfortunately she probably see's you as a safe haven if things get rough on her own. As much as you might like that to be the case, try not to give her the impression that your ALWAYS going to be there. If she's sees you improving your self and self image she may be more apt to return when she really sees what's at stake. I think your best additude would be a confident, polite indifference to her actions. Make it clear that you are strong as an individual and able to move on (even if inside your not ready to make that commitment) It's a bit of acting on your part to begin with, but with time it won't feel so much like acting anymore and you will really start to feel better about your self and your self worth!
So to answer your question..
Let her know you can be strong!
Keep Posting!
Keep Well,
Lostboy
Re: Let her know ? or be Strong ? charmed: My advice is to do what you feel is right and what will leave you with NO regrets. Sometimes this means saying more, sometimes less. I do agree that coming across as needy or desperate is never a good thing. A healthy relationship is about being "wanted" more than "needed".
I wish you the very best-
`charmed
Re: Let her know ? or be Strong ? no more tears: thank you all so much and fcard ur reply has me thinkin.....but i dont get the desperate or needy part in some of the replys ??? what is so desperate and needy about just letting ur X now u still love them and miss them? I dont understand but is the only way to make ur x miss u is to be distant and cocky ? confused with the replies somebody please try to explain...again i will hear from her soon....still need help :(
Re: Let her know ? or be Strong ? charmed: [quote"> what is so desperate and needy about just letting ur X now u still love them and miss them? I dont understand but is the only way to make ur x miss u is to be distant and cocky[/quote">
I understand what you are saying. I let my ex-bf know I forgive him, still love him in a factual way. I think it's about letting your feelings being known, once, and without drama. I didn't want something to happen to me or him and these words never have been said. My words may or may not have power, but they were real and I'll never have regrets. He "knows" and what he does with them will be of his choosing.
I think the difference lies in the person that smothers the other with "I love you", "can't we try again", etc. and the person that simply states their feelings. I stated mine and granted him his wish in having his freedom to strengthen himself.
`charmed
Re: Let her know ? or be Strong ? rhhope: I am in the same boat. My wife is leaving me and I am torn up about it. For the first couple of weeks I made sure I did everything I could to show her I loved her and really broke down in front of her several times. Big mistake, I think I looked like a scared child rather than an adult. I put a stop to that and this week I have been taking a new approach. I am focusing on me from here on out no matter how hard it is to keep my emotions in check. I will not let my wife see me like that anymore. I want her to see a confident person who is going on living his life with or without her. Eventhough I am devasted inside I will not let her see that anymore. It is hard but hell if she is going to leave, let her leave questioning her decision. I am going through the same thing pal and you have to believe it is all for a reason and that better things are just around the corner.
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