ex offers sex clambakesX: Good lord.
Clambake called yesterday and asked how I was doing. Not too well - I have less and less patience with him, don't read his e-mails and cut the phone calls short.
He said, "well you know I have some tools you like to play with, so if that would make you feel better, you can come and visit me."
Um, yeah.
During the marriage, he was =really= stingy in this department. Even for himself, it was the last thing on his list, and I never had the sense he really enjoyed it much. (No, I'm not hideous.)
I asked him a few questions and got him to admit that HE's the one who wants to "play with his tools". I listed a few different ways for him to get some playtime. His response when I suggested a professional? "I don't want to spend the money." Jeez, so call the ex and act as if you're doing her a favor? And only b/c she's less expensive?
Why did I spend any time at all with this guy - never mind my 20s???? I moved to a not-so-great country for him and he only valued me b/c I was the easiest route?
- Medusa
whose self-confidence is getting stronger
Re: ex offers sex clare710: I know exactly where you're comming from!
My ex actually said 'we'd have to agree for it to be no strings attached'.....Like i didnt already have a few strings!
People are unbelievable sometimes
Clare x
Re: ex offers sex EssieDotCom: like i told someone in here b4 "its thinking with that head that makes him an X and X means no sex" lol ;)
Re: ex offers sex jillieb44: A year ago labor day I reached my emotional separation from my ex -- we'd had a horrid weekend and it was the last straw -- I'd FINALLY realized that it was over, had been over, and that I was leaving. In January, after he'd treated me like crap since labor day, we were 'in-house- separated' and I was actively looking to move out (he knew this); one day he was all sweetness and nice and wanted 'to go snuggle.'
WTF? You treat me like sh*t for months, you know I'm moving out, divorce is imminent, and you want WHAT????
Uh, no thanks.
HE was the one who pushed me away in that department for YEARS (true, I'd gained some weight from the stress of being married to him, but I wasn't hideous or anything).
I turned him down and he's been an A$$ ever since.
As if....Geez...
Jillie
Re: ex offers sex Spectrum: Ugh. I think we all go through this at some point or another.
After my initial separation I did the "ex-sex" thing a few times, most notably on the V-day about a month after I left him. At that point I actually found myself feeling sick over it afterwards (literally, nauseated) so that pretty much put an end to that.
Of course, finding out later that he was still dating the OW through all that just makes me roll my eyes. Those two clearly deserved (and still deserve) each other.
Spectrum.
ps. Kudos to you Medusa for having the good sense to blow the loser off.
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