Smiley's Dating Story Smiley17: My Gas Guy Dating Story.... For those who are interested.
Part 1:
So, I've been seeing him steadily for over a week now, and things are going pretty well. In this thread, I'm going to post about things that are happening, things that I'm feeling, and things that I fear. Since my "saga" was started here, and since so many people love reading it, I thought I'd start this so I can continue to "entertain" you. LOL!!
In the past 1.5 weeks, I've had many feelings and concerns too. This is my first real post separation relationship where I've seen the guy more than once a week, ok it's been like once a day. It's no wonder I have some fears! He's become a pretty big part of my life already.
It started with a "date" that was supposed to be like hanging out with friends and getting to know him. Well, we did, and I did. I liked what I saw and who I was with. Keeping in mind that he's outside of my "normal" type. He's not someone that I would just be physically attracted to, but his heart and his soul IS the attraction. I have this ability to looking into someone's eyes and seeing his/her soul. I see the life and I see the pain. Whenever I looked at him once a week at the gas station, I saw a happier soul. A soul who wasn't there for me to "fix" it or "save" it. A soul that was content within it's body. This is NOT something that I'm used to. I attract and are attracted to "damaged" souls. Freshly damaged. We all have them, but few of us are past the fresh pain, and ready to move forward - he is. This is very different from me as I'm usually drawn to the darker souls of the world.
Keep in mind that although this is healthier for me, it's also a very big challenge because a small part of the happier soul kind of repels me at times. He doesn't pose the challenge that I'm typically used to, but I'm learning that relationships shouldn't be a challenge, they should be a blessing.
He knows that my divorce isn't final, and knows that the papers are filed yet, but he's also aware that my stbx has been out of our house for more than 2.5 years. Actually, he's perfectly fine with this because this is how his own parents live. A hidden blessing here? Quite possibly. This means that I'm accepted and trusted. VERY huge for me. I'm not rejected for something that isn't completely in my control.
We've been together every day since that first "date" with the piggyback ride, and things have been very sweet, hot, and fun. But there have been times that have scared the crap out of me. Like when he told me he wanted me to meet his friends. I know this is huge for guys to do this, and when he suggested it so early, I freaked a little, but it's ok now. It won't be for a while, and he was really cool about it.
Sometimes it's hard for me to look him in the eye when I talk to him, but this goes for anyone who gets close to me and when I don't feel completely comfortable. I tend to hide when I don't feel quite right, and avoiding eye contact is my way of hiding. As time goes on, I'll learn to get over that. One step at a time.
The good thing is that he knows how scared I am to meet his family. I still feel like a failure for the way my marriage ended, and even though my stbx was the main cause of it all, I still feel like I was, and that still stands out. There's a long story that supports my fear of meeting the family, but I'm sure that will lighten up as time goes on. It's just something that I have to work on. He's fine with this, supports it, and tries to assure me that I have nothing to fear. He's giving me time to adjust. I like that. Thank you, God, for that.
Part 2 to follow...
Re: Smiley's Dating Story Smiley17: Part 2...
All of our "dates" for the past week have been really, really nice, but very casual, so I'm not sure how he is in public yet. I find myself wondering if he'll *take me out* on a real date, like dinner and movies, without me having to ask. So far, I've been the one in control, so it would be nice for him to take the reigns for a little bit. I'm trying to figure out the best way to convey that to him without sounding bossy. Any suggestions?
The times at my home have been pretty relaxing when I'm not worried about anything, and he's very attentive to my physical needs. Not just the sexual stuff, although that's been pretty good, but the fact that I'm always cold and my back gets sore sometimes from lifting the kids, groceries, etc., so he helps out with that. He pays close attention to me and the things I do.
For example, it's next to impossible for me to sit and relax. If I'm sitting, I'm getting up every few minutes to do something, or to get something. I'm always giggling, but he seems to like that, and at times, I poke innocent fun at him - especially when he wears that freakin' Yankees hat, but then he's just looking for trouble then! LOL! Anyway, he keeps telling me that he's going to tie me down and make me relax. Hmmm... that could be interpreted in so many ways! LMAO! But, I know what he means, and it's innocent! Gutter minds! ;) :P
Ok, I have to get back to work, so I'll try to add more later! ;)
Oh, and so far, I haven't called him Gas Guy to his face yet, although it almost slipped yesterday! :o Oops!!
Re: Smiley's Dating Story timetobefree: [quote author=Smiley Girl link=topic=18066.msg159781#msg159781 date=1125510880">
Part 2...
All of our "dates" for the past week have been really, really nice, but very casual, so I'm not sure how he is in public yet. I find myself wondering if he'll *take me out* on a real date, like dinner and movies, without me having to ask. So far, I've been the one in control, so it would be nice for him to take the reigns for a little bit. I'm trying to figure out the best way to convey that to him without sounding bossy. Any suggestions?
[/quote">
Hey!
Not sure if I have all the details straight, but he doesn't drive, right? If that is the case, perhaps he feels weird making plans and then asking you to drive?
Could you slip it into a casual conversation some time when you are laying around watching a movie or something? Like "Hey, I planned this oh-so-much fun evening. Do you think you can top this?" Kinda poke fun at yourself but at the same time, open the door for him to take control.
Or you could try the direct route..."I have a great new outfit that I am dying to wear. Where are you taking me Saturday night so I can show it (and you!!!) off???"
Let me know what you think...I can come up with some other ideas...I am the queen of getting people to do what I want them to do without them realizing it....hmmm, maybe my ex finally realized it and that is why we are divorced! ;D Just teasing!
Amy ;D
Re: Smiley's Dating Story Smiley17: The "oh so fun" evening thing could work because we're playfully competitive. You're right, he doesn't drive, so it would be me driving where ever we'd go, not really a big deal, though.
All I'd have to do is get creative and think of an "oh so fun" evening idea! LOL!
Thanks, Amy!!! :D
Re: Smiley's Dating Story RSGinATX: You: "Its a bit stuffy in here tonight"
Him: "Want me to open a window?"
You: "No, just a bit of cabin fever, I think"
Him: "I hope to see you later"
You: "Great! Where are we going?"
Or...you could leave the movie listings on the coffee table with some options circled.
If I was at this stage of a relationship all of these would work for me! :)
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