Re: rebound. inevitable? Bubba: I would like to add that when you are in a rebound, you generally find yourself doing things you normally wouldn't, just to appease the other person. You therefore prolong a relationship you are in just so that you don't feel like you failed again.
Bubba
Re: rebound. inevitable? ChristyM: [quote"> You therefore prolong a relationship you are in just so that you don't feel like you failed again[/quote">
Couldn't have said this better myself Bubba.
I agree that a rebound relationship is almost a necessary evil of healing. However, it is hard for one of the people to not get hurt. Very seldom will you find two people at the exact same place in their healing process unless they have been post divorce for awhile and in that instance, a rebound relationship doesn't usually apply.
Christy
Re: rebound. inevitable? tara: I think there's kind of a Catch 22 when it comes to the whole "rebound" thing.
Unless you commit yourself to lifelong celibacy, post-divorce, you will have other relationships. Statistically speaking, the first post-divorce relationship will not last a lifetime, because relationships in general don't last a lifetime (otherwise, we'd all be married to our prom dates). But was it a rebound or a transitional thing, or just a relationship that failed on its own merits?
I think most people do go through a "transitional" person, but perhaps only because of that. Of course there are exceptions, but I wonder how different the percentage of successful "first relationships out of divorce" is from successful "Nth" relationships out of divorce. (Hope that makes sense.)
I'd like to think J is both my transitional person and "the next guy" -- we had a pretty intense couple of months where it was just a physical fling. We weren't trying to court each other -- we were trying to have really good sex. We ended up finding out we had a lot in common and we wanted to spend more time together outside of the bedroom. Will this last forever? Who knows? I'll enjoy it while I can, though.
Re: rebound. inevitable? whatnext: [quote author=tara link=topic=18100.msg160259#msg160259 date=1125584817">
(otherwise, we'd all be married to our prom dates).
[/quote">
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Re: rebound. inevitable? microtech1: [quote"> But was it a rebound or a transitional thing, or just a relationship that failed on its own merits?
[/quote">
I like this quote because it has a lot of sense to it. Homcome a relationship that fails after a breakup is termed a rebound. Isn't it possible that it just wasn't ever meant to be. How long do relationships have to be not to be a rebound?? IMO sometimes this is just used as an excuse for not both people to either end the relationship or feel better about why it didn't work. I have dated a few people since my ex and I split. Were they "rebounds"? I don't think so but hey that's only my opinion.
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