Re: So now what? Lumpy: Dear WhiskeyGirl,
It's not easy to get 50/50 custody unless there are some really convincing reasons. Most family courts find it to be too static and unstable for the kids. When they do grant it it is usually a 2/2/5 division of days. (Two days with one parent-five with the other. That way there's a smaller amount of time that passes without the kids having no contact with one parent.
Re: So now what? WhiskeyGirl: Hey Lumpy, I realize if I were to fight this in court I have a good chance of winning, but I dont work that way, I dont want my kids being fought over in a courtroom as if they were personal property. If my ex really wants to try this AND he moves close by as to not make it too unsettling for the kids, then I will give it try. To me its making a choice between what is good for me and what is good for the kids. Whats good for my kids always comes first. And coming to arrangement that suits both my ex and I without the fighting and argueing and bitterness that come with court is of utmost importance to me. I literally bend over backwards to keep the peace between us because it makes my kids happy to see us get along. Sometimes I hate my ex, I really do and inside I may want to kill him sometimes but he is my kids dad. When we were together we used to have a family "group hug" all the time...the kids squished in between C and I. Now that we have split everytime he either picks up or drops the kids off my oldest wants a "group hug" I can be seething with rage for something stupid he's done but we have that group hug and my daughter gets a sense of peace that everything will be alright, even though her parents don't live together she still has us both, we still love them very much and we are still a "team" I will never take that security away from my kids. Even if it means I have to give up keeping them all to myself.
This is something I feel VERY strongly about.............
so its not really a matter of what the courts will award me its a matter of what my ex and I, as parents, feel will work best for the kids. As hard as this is for me I will do whatever it takes to make everybody happy.
Mabey I need a shrink because while I do believe I am "over" my ex I will never get over the fact that I feel like I failed my kids by not being able to keep their family together so.....if they cant have the "perfect" family I am gonna make damn sure they have as close to perfect as I can make it for them.
damn! I am way to emotional today :'(
Re: So now what? Lumpy: I gotta tell ya, after dealing with my ex regarding custody, your attitude is refreshing. I love the fact that you put the kid's needs ahead of your own. I think I'd have a coronary if my ex could manage that. You're one hell of a mom! Could I divorce you instead?
Re: So now what? WhiskeyGirl: [quote author=Lumpy link=topic=18501.msg164946#msg164946 date=1126384812">
You're one hell of a mom!
[/quote">
Thank you lumpy :) thats about the nicest compliment I could ever ask for.....
[quote author=Lumpy link=topic=18501.msg164946#msg164946 date=1126384812">
Could I divorce you instead?
[/quote">
roflmao.....yeah sometimes I'd like to trade ex's too!
Re: So now what? AfterMath: Hey WG,
Nothing to add but ((((Hugs)))!!! :)
AM
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