Re: Am I ready? Lumpy: Nothing to it but to do it. Give it a shot a see what happens.
Re: Am I ready? jem: Thanks everybody. After writing about it and listening to your posts and thinking about is some more, I think I am just feeling guilty about being a little bit selfish. I want to go out with this guy and see what happens. He is definitely not way into me, we just met a week ago and we barely know each other. But he is funny and nice and sweet and seems to be mature, which will be a new experience in men I have a tendency to go out with. So, I'm going to go, keep it very casual and see how it goes. Then I will be better able to answer that question I started with.
Re: Am I ready? bjs2005: I found that when I thought I was ready, I wasn't. So I waited a little. Then I thought I was ready again and dated. Well the whole "thing" came up and I made myself unready again. So, the third time I THOUGHT I was ready, the "thing" came up again and I think the date saw I wasn't ready. So, I don't know when or how you know you're ready.
No need to thank me for this useless bit of advice :)
Re: Am I ready? picadilly: Have to say that I found my first date after the divorce was a heck of a lot less stress on my mind then the first wedding I attended...alone... after my seperation.
Also, SG is right, the dream of the ex was probably your mind coping with the stress of the situation & the potential dating of another man. Your mind just wandered back to when it felt safe...
If you are not feeling like you are ready to date, don't. It's ultimately your choice to make, I don't know how long it's been for you so can't say but if you are not ready to date, I think maybe a night out instead with friends would be more appropriate, but going to a wedding maybe just as much stress on you. I know that when I did, I had alot of thoughts of my wedding running through my head... so maybe not the best idea for yourself either. Just a thought.
take care.
Re: Am I ready? OneMist8k: Take him to the wedding. Catch the bouquet. Put him on the spot. It'll be a hell of a first date!!!
Seriously, no one is ready until they've had a transitional relationship. Don't worry about being ready. You aren't. Know that you need an after-the-divorce relationship before you are ready, and even then you might not be.
Go on the date. Go on a second date. Just know it will crash and burn.
As for the guy, he knows what he's getting into.
* P.S. Don't worry about the dream. Just wait until you call your date by your ex-H's name. It will happen, I promise. :)
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