when will it end? wowee: When will it end. When will the words he speaks stop having any effect on my heart. Why do I still feel the knife in my back in my heart & my soul every time he chooses to hurt me? Why do I care? How can anything he says at this point matter when I know I do not want to be with him? I am really this pathetic? Do I somehow deserve this? What is it about him & the sound of his voice that makes my skin crawl & my heart ache all at the same time & why the heck can’t I stop crying. It seems as though enough time has passed that I should be better then this emotionally by now. My brain has totally checked out – am I still waiting for my heart to catch up? If so what is my heart’s problem? Get a move on it already. He is nothing I would ever want & yet all I have ever wanted. Will this crap ever end? Do I just feel like this because he is finally coming back after 8 months & we are finally getting this all over with? I don’t know if I can handle this. I don’t know if I am strong enough. And I hate feeling this way. I hate that I let him make me feel weak again. I hate that I haven’t moved on like he so clearly has. Why am I such a looser that this isn’t easier by now?
Re: when will it end? dgiirl: wowee, dont beat yourself up over how long it should take. It takes as long as it's going to. As long as you are making an honest effort to try to stop thinking about him, going out and doing fun things from time to time, then you're doing everything that anyone could ask from you. I'm also starting to finalize things with my stbxh, and I can forsee me going back to crying every day until i get sick of it. But just keep putting one step in front of the other, and make an honest effort to continue on with life. Like everyone else, you will have bad days but you will have good days too. Keep focusing on the good days!
*hugs*
Re: when will it end? Smiley17: Awww... wowee, Girl!
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. You have my biggest hugs!!!
Someday soon, everything you're going through will work out to something better. You just have to hold on a little while longer, and cherish each and every happy moment you have. I know that I do that, and it helps me get by, even when the big stresses happen.
Hang in there for me, ok? :-*
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO!!!!!
Re: when will it end? jadedangel: [color=navy"> Wowee ..
I ask myself a few of those questions as well --- Why do I still care is one of them. What's wrong with me .. is another one .. I don't think it can end .. until you can answer the reason you still care and resolve it. Seems like as long as you hold on, you will continue to ask. -- I wish I had some magick words for ya .. but, inevitably I don't -- other than all we can do is hang on .. try to survive and quit wondering --
I know I know ...... easier said than done ... [/color">
Re: when will it end? alonewith2: I remember the saying...."sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me".....oh how wrong were they? Words do hurt, and in my opinion they hurt worse!
Your heart hasn't caught up because you are human and you feel. He hurts you, and you can feel it. That's only natural. The only way, I was able to trick my heart into not feeling the hurt was to tune it all out. I would start thinking about something funny or someplace nice when he started the word-hurt train. It was always good to focus on him....like how his facial expressions were (they were quite humorous when he was angry!), but then I would smile or laugh and it would just make him more mad.....eventually it just got to the point where I would hang up the phone or walk out the door everytime he started. I constantly told him that I would not stand for his treatment anymore, and if he couldn't be nice then I wasn't going to be around for him anymore!
Click More for the next page.
