Re: when will it end? wowee: Thank you so much to alonewith2, jadedangel, smiley & dgiirl.
I really appreciate you all taking time to reply, support & encourage. I have been avoiding this site as much as possible lately because I just can't handle reading all of the heatbreak & sadness. My STBX is due home on Thursday & I am really freaking out. I have not seen him since January & emotionally I think I wanted to be stronger by the time he came back. I have one month to get myslef together & find a new place to live in Texas & we haven't even finished filing for divorce. I feel so not ready to handle any of this & to top it off he wants to come spend 5 whole hours at the house just sitting around with me & the kids - suggested we could have dinner together & watch some movies with the kids. I am seriously not interested in playing happy family with him, and I told him so & he just got pissed & told me in a not so nice tone that he can come see his kids for as long as he wants & I can't tell him otherwise. I just want to make it through the whole thing without crying or letting on that I have a single feeling left but I know I am not going to make it. I really wish I were a different kind of person. I really wish I were a whole different person altogether.
