Re: Help charmed: My heart goes out to you. This is a tough situation to deal with.
I think it's good that you are running things through your head that might transpire to better prepare yourself.
It might not hurt to hit some walls, take a long walk or do something to let off some steam BEFORE he arrives LOL Sometimes letting the anger out before a confrontation helps you to be a bit more composed.
I wish you the best and please keep us updated
((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))
`charmed
Re: Help fcard05: just giving you a man's perspective. if my wife ever thought of pulling that crap on me, i'd just tell her to have a nice life and be done with it. there's certain things we don't need to deal with in this world and this is one of them. you already know the truth so just tell him to go shag off and get out of your life for good. if he doesn't love you anymore that's his loss... it sounds like he's definitely taken you for granted. time to kick him in the nuts and be done with him for good. sorry, men who treat women badly and think they can get away with it just make me lose my mind.
Re: Help clare710: morning after update!
Oh it was horrible. He sat on my sofa for 3 hours and sobbed.
This is not a man who cries often. Hes so messed up in his head and he hates himself.
He hasnt talked to anyone about whats happened and hes bottled it up for 3 weeks and now he says he can only talk to me. He hates that people are disappointed in him?!
Hes not commin back and after whats happened i dont think id take him back. But i do care about him and it hurts to see him hurting so much and i want to help him. Its weird but i would never wish the pain he has put me through on him.
I was sitting there with him and i just realised, i am stronger than he is.
Re: Help Uncertain: Hello Clare
I'm sorry you have to go thru this. I can't understand tho, why he feels he has to tell you he met someone else. The only thing I can think of is that maybe he wants a reaction from you. What I found works for me is, think of the most horrible period in your relationship where you could cheerfully have given him away to the first passing stranger, keep that image in your head. Let him have his say, but let him know that your time is limited, otherwise you could find he'll waffle on for hours. When you feel that you can't control your emotions anymore, tell him very politely that you have to get ready to go out and that you don't mean to be rude, but you would appreciate it if he left now. Even go so far as to thank him for his honesty, but keep your pride and dignity intact. He'll probably spend many any hour obsessing about the fact that you don't even seem to care. (((HUGS))) from South Africa. Keep your chin up and let me know how it goes.
Traci
Re: Help Mart: Hi Clare,
You are stronger than him! It seems that you are a good person and extremely strong for you to continue being there for him. BUT... you need to think of yourself. He did what he did without you and without considering your feelings. He needs to face the consequences alone. He came to see you to tell you what he did so he feels better about it. He he he.... He awaits that you tell him to go, so you will be the bad person for not being there for him.
I know, its easier said than done (i.e. to stop being there for him and cut all contact with him). I have been trying to send him off on the curb, but I can't and I don't want to. I am not strong enough.
Take care,
Mart
