Things just keep getting crazier... Erin: So last night my H drops by unannounced to discuss a bill that I emailed him about that is due next week. He says he tried to call, but it was busy so he thought he'd just pop in. I asked him to pay all of it as I don't have any money right now and he refused. OK fine, whatever. So we exchange a few more words and he lets it out that he has come back to the house YET again when I was a way and was looking through my things and yet again doubts that I am pregnant. (I have to admit that I was sneaky and did plant something so that I'd know if he had come in and he fell for it hook, line and sinker). I freaked out at him, and he left. Not before he managed to threaten that he was planning to move back in to the house. Thank god my girlfriends were all ready planning to come over that night as I don't think I could have calmed down at all last night.
So after he left I changed the locks.
I emailed him, letting him know how much he had violated my space, that I was changing the locks as a result. I also told him how I would like to discuss these things rationally with him and even a counselor was a lot cheaper than a lawyer, but he has continued to refuse to go, so we would have to leave it up to our lawyers to figure it out.
So he calls me this morning and wants to discuss our finances. Of course we can't agree. Then he brings up the whole pregnancy issue again and wants to know that if he was to buy a HPT would I take it. At first I said no, but then I thought, F-U. I'm going to take it and throw it in his face. But then well after he hangs up I change my mind. I don’t need to prove anything to him. I try to call him to stop him from coming over but he has already left. He gets here and I refuse to take it. I tell him that I have nothing to prove to him (I have already shown him one test result) and was not going to humiliate myself in taking another one. He freaked. He wouldn't leave until I told him that I was going to phone the police if he wouldn't leave.
THEN he has the nerve to phone my parents and tell them that I am making things up. I am making things up to vilify him. He says that I called him up and asked him to bring a pregnancy test over. That he never snuck into the house a second time to go through my things. I’m making things up to make him look bad.
Ummm. I think you are doing a pretty good job all by yourself at making yourself look bad.
I hate this. I don’t get it. I don’t at all. This is all within the past 5 weeks. 5 weeks ago everything seemed normal. Now nothing is ‘normal’ at all. Shock has gotten me through the rest of the day, right now, all I want to do is lie on the floor, curled up in a ball and cry. I’m done with all of this. I can’t handle this. I still keep thinking he’s going to walk in the door and this is all a bad dream. I’m out. I’m completely out of energy. I am so exhausted I don’t even have the strength to cry anymore.
This is such a nightmare. Seriously. Who's life is this? 5 weeks ago I just got back from 3 weeks in Europe with my husband of less than a year. I had no idea, none. I still don't. I can't handle this anymore. It just keeps getting crazier...
Re: Things just keep getting crazier... BarbJo: It sounds to me that you need to get a PFA (Protection from Abuse order). That way he can not get incontact with you. Even if it's only for a few months so that things calm down. You need to think about your health now. Not him. He isn't thinking about you. PFA can be effected if there has been emotional abuse. It sounds like that is what you have been going through. I didn't want to have one put on my stbxh but I had no other choice. It was just getting so crazy. My kids kept seeing me cry and hearing us yell at each other. Now I havn't talked to him in over 2 weeks. It's been hard but I know when I get up in the morning that he can't say anything to me that will hurt. Maybe you should call your local family court house and see if there is someone you can talk to about your situation. It seems like you need to reach out for some help.
Good luck. Keep yourself safe and healthy.
Barbjo
Re: Things just keep getting crazier... lostboy: PFA, Reastraining order, Barbed wire, Electric fences heat seeking missles. What ever it takes to keep him away from the house and away from you spinning. He is NOT helping the situation. And he's obviously not mature enough to accept the fact that you ARE with child.
I'm really sorry to hear he's still harrassing you. I was really hoping he might come to his senses and realize the error of his ways. But I guess that was wishfull thinking on my part.
I agree with you though he's doing a good job of incriminating him self. I hope his parents are starting to see it to and realize that thier son is not the most stable person and perhaps NEEDS COUNSELING. Maybe they can convince him?
At any rate you really don't need this and you certainly don't deserve it.
If changing the locks on the door didn't work perhaps it's time to take more drastic measures.
Take of your self spinning and your child.
Keep Well,
Lostboy
Re: Things just keep getting crazier... amola: do some checking on the pfa. i tried to get one on my ex on the grounds of emotional abuse and i couldn't do it--he had to have either physically abused me or threatened to physically harm me for me to get one. apparently in the court's eyes (in kansas, anyway) it's not abuse until you get beaten. sucks.
good luck.....hang in there.....do what you gotta do to stay safe......
{{{{{HUGS}}}}} from one prego to another ;D
amola
Re: Things just keep getting crazier... amola: [quote author=lifesgood link=topic=18528.msg165083#msg165083 date=1126417903"> One would think you could get some kind of restraining order. It is a domestic situation.[/quote">
yeah that's what i thought too. that morning, my ex had me up against a wall, screaming obscenities at me in front of our daughter.....i honestly thought that he was going to kill me. but he never touched me. and he never threatened to. therefore, no restraining order. it was a crock of sh!t and it still is, in my opinion.....
spinning............document EVERYTHING. get as much proof as you can that he is doing this crap. it might help, it might not. but it can't hurt.
document document document...
hang in there babe.....
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