She doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.......need advice and suppor solus: sorry this is a book but i need to get this out.
well i'm new to this site thought i 'd give it a try after reading some the posts. Heres some background about my girlfriend and me, My girlfriend is 21 years old and I'm 23 we've been together since highschool. After high school i joined the navy and moved to hawaii. For two years we held a long distance relationship. Then when she graduated she moved in with me in hawaii. After two years (the best two years of my life) I got out of the navy and we moved back to my home town to go to school. There she moved in with her mom i moved in with mine. Things went fine for about a year but 3 months ago she started to not act here self, We've always talked about getting married and haveing children soon. But out of the blue she says she doesn't want to have children anytime soon. I'm ok with it, didn't bother me. Recently when i'm with her I feel like i'm getting the cold shoulder all the time. The small things are missing like, her smiles, she used to tell me she loved me out of know where, or reach for my hand to hold it, she spend more time with here girl friends than me. She also told me she has no desire to make love anymore and she don't know why. I asked her whats deal with all of this and she tells me she doesnt know. Well last night out the the blue she tells me she doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.....I took i pretty hard, I've never loved some so deeply and passionate as i love her, so it hurt me really bad.
Once again she tells me she don't know why she feels this way and its not my failt. I really don't know what to do. I think she knows i'm going to ask her to marry me soon (i have a ring on layaway) do think she getting cold feet? You think i've should of ask her a long time ago? I've just don't know what to do. Do confront her some more or do I just wait it out untill she decides? She means everthing to me and this is tearing me up inside, We were very close in our relationship, she help me through many trying times in mylife and is the thing that keeps me going, I wake up thinking about her and my last thought of the day is her. I just don't want to lose her...................Please I need some advice or support
Re: She doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.......need advice and suppor EssieDotCom: humm well i'm no expert.. but I do know that the signs of not wanting sex, feeling a little cold shoulder.. can sometimes mean there's something more to talk about. Or in some case depression on that persons part. There may be something more to the circumstances than you are seeing or she is allowing you to see. Do you think perhaps the two of you maybe need a little break from one another? I know you had the long distance relationship for 2 years ( I understand these well bc I'm a Navy wife, but only God knows how much longer I'll be a wife). But maybe she's starting to feel a little depressed like she doesn't want to suddently "tie" down, or rather settle down completely. I wish I could give you a little better advice. I know often times, during my marriage, and recently, I've wanted just time away. At one point I didn't want anything to do with my husband sexually, and times when i give him the cold s houlder, times when I feel like I just don't love him like i use to. And those are all things, I am told, that tie in with my depression. Which springs from a long list of a lot of other things. Maybe you should sit down with her and really talk, find out why she really feels the way she does. I wish I could help you out more. Best of luck to you sweetie, and God bless.
Re: She doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.......need advice and suppor RSGinATX: Major lifestyle changes can be rough on any relationship. If i'm reading you correctly, you lived together, just the two of you, for 2 years and then moved into seperate residences when you left the Navy? And you've been in that situation for a year so far and likely will be for a while longer(assumming whatever schooling you're going through is a minimum of 2 years) I can see how that could cause someone to question the direction of their life/relationship. You're doing it for a better future, yes, but that's still a heavy commitment to make. The gravity of that commitment combined with the difficulty of living separately may be getting to her. Sometimes living our plans can be a lot more difficult than we imagined it would be.
I hope you find your answers. Remember to take care of yourself though. YOU still have to live your future even if shes not there.
Re: She doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.......need advice and suppor lost in midland:
Please make sure the love is true!!!!!!!!!!! You are young and have your whole future. I marrried a women that didn't have "true love " for me. We lasted 15 years and I have 2 great kids because of it, However if love was true we would have made it. Give her some time, talk things out and keep calm even if you hear something you don't like. Its better to understand this now then putting yourself though hell and back in a marriage that wasn't ment to be. Maybe you need to get to know each other again.
Good luck-Lost
Re: She doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.......need advice and suppor HeartBrokenDemon: Sorry to hear what your are going through, you are on same situation as I was 8 month ago. me and my girl had been to gether since we were in high school but we went to a different school we met in 1998. Last summer she was planning to have kids with me and to start a family also as well. but one day she starting to giving me a cold sholder as well she keep telling me to leave the house to go hang out with my friends and the way she talks to me had change, and she go and stay at her parent house 3 - 4 days a week, she start acting funny and nerver leave her mobile off her side. She told me she needed a break and some times for her self. So she can be her self, I ask her are we going to get back with eachother then, she said not sure. If this is the way to break up with someone it is so clue and they are not worth being with, it feels like she is squeezing my heart since she ask for the break and the break last 7 month. So many thought of questions went through my head. You don't know what is going on in her head and you want to know but you can't because all she keep telling me is I need time and space or we won't have a chance. Sometime I think she is trying to push me away but one day she call it over and I ask her why she said this is not what I want any more. It's been 8 month of hell for me, for wat she put me through, I would not want anyone to go through at all, it is the hardest thing in my life, It felt like a bad deam that you will never going to wake up because ever since me and her are apart my life had changes so much. IF I WERE YOU CALL IT OFF NOW BEFORE SHE DOES.
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