Re: She doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.......need advice and suppor EssieDotCom: I agree with lost in midland.... Although I got married young and we were very much in love, I' wished I'd gotten to know my husband a lot better before we made the decisions we did. Although I also believe God has a plan for our lives, no matter what we think we need, his direction is the path often times not taken but in the long run we end up running smack into the middle of his path. What is that joke "want to make God laugh, make plans." best of luck to you and God bless.
Re: She doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.......need advice and su Cortadillo: Wow, this is almost me 4 years ago. Let me tell you now, at least based on my experience, deal with it NOW before the marriage.
Like you (read my thread: "I don't want to be single..." if you're curious about the details) I engaged then married my high school sweetheart. Anyhow, we had a fight similar to yours prior to getting married. I offered to give her space, she said she didn't want it even though she was the cold one that initially asked for it. She ended up pushing for the marriage.
Here i am 4 years later(with her 11 1/2 years total) and shes saying shes not sure if shes in love with me. Yeah, trust me, it won't be any better if you don't get to the heart of this now and go through with the marriage. My best advise, since I'm finding it somewhat useful now, is go to some sort of couples counseling. She says now she should have taken me up on my offer back then to have space and figure out if she really needs that. It isn't helpful after the fact, trust me.
Anyway, even if its possible you will end up hurt now or you're afraid to ask the question of whether this person you've been with so long really loves you, do it. I cannot stress enough that I think a professional that you are both comfortable with is necessary though.
I won't lie. It will probably hurt, the things that will come out because no relationship is perfect. Still, since you basically grew up with her, its possible, as our counselor said that you have somewhat of an "immature love." Now, I know, it sounds horrible and when I heard that I felt angry because I am an adult afterall even if we did get together when we were so young and you don't want to believe you're so dumb to believe in something that isn't real. (its not really being dumb btw!) That isn't what it means, your love definately is real but people do change as they age and matur. You both need to see if you're together now that you have a better sense of where your lives are going and who you are.
Anyway, as with all advise, take it with a grain of salt. Everyone is different but this is my experience and I wish someone would have shared a similar one prior to me getting married. So, please don't think I'm trying to scare your or anything, this is just my story and it is somewhat similar so use it as you will.
Re: She doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.......need advice and su genesplicer: I agree with everyone else's comments. I married my high school sweetheart and now 10 years later I realize there were so many things we should have learned about each other that we didn't. We were madly in love, that was all that mattered.... Unfortunately that wasn't the case, there is so much more that has to go into a healthy long term relationship.
From my experience I think this is difficult when you're young. How do you talk openly about your hopes, dreams, aspirations, fears, everything if you don't really know what they are? It sounds like your gf is thinking about some of these things now from your comment about her not wanting children right now. And that's a great thing.
Just don't rush it if she's not ready! I would keep giving her some space, but also try to get YOUR answers to some of these bigger questions in order so you're ready to talk to her about it when she wants to.
Best of luck. I hope you two can work through this and be better for it down the road.
Re: She doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.......need advice and suppor Feel: I feel really bad for what you ae going through... Now I don't want to sound harsh with anything I say, but it seems to me she may have an interest in someone else...
I am going through my own ordeal with my husband who has had an affair on me but he is still seeing this woman and teliing me he wants to come back home...
I have a child and it makes it a lot more difficult to walk away especially if you love dearly as u do and are willing to work through it!
My advice to u is, since there are no attachments (children) give her her space... tell her ok if this is what you want then fine... Act strong... see what her reactions are... try your best not to read into anything you may not even have too, women are very expressive with there feelings, but listen to her and what she has to say, acknowledge everything and again remember to stay strong!
And you may also need some space yourself... From about to ask her to marry u, to having this bomb let out on you has to really hurt!
Never act like you don't care but show her that it is ok to walk away if the feelingsd aren't mutual!
