Re: How can one be so entirely selfless yet selfish at the same time? YellowJacket: mophead, the last two paragraphs in your first post are thoughts I've wondered over and over. Even though I don't want her back in any way, the selfishness and deception still do hurt at times.
The conclusion that I came to was that my wife was not an angel. She was an angel _to me_ while she wanted me. When she decided she wanted someone else, she was no longer the same. Because it wasn't really who she was, it was just who she needed to be at the time. Our marriage became... disposable. Vows no longer mattered; treating others (me) with consideration no longer mattered. All that mattered was her getting what she wanted.
There is a big difference between treating other people right and just treating them well when they have something that you want. Unfortunately sometimes you can't know what the other is doing until it's too late.
Re: How can one be so entirely selfless yet selfish at the same time? lostboy: Man I'v been asking my self these same questions.. I guess my situation is a little different since she left me for another woman but It doesn't change the fact that she was selfish and said some very hurtfull things before leaving.
What yellow Jacket says makes complete sense. I realize now that in a lot of respects my own stbx was trying to be who she thought she needed to be to keep me. Her parents used to comment on how different she was around me. About what a "great effect I had on her" I was always puzzled because she just seemed the same to me. Sweet and genreous thoughtfull.. very thoughtfull or so it seemed.
Yeah I totally feel that way too the like marraige was disposable. She treated her leaving.. like we were in highschool and she was breaking up.
The longer I am away from the relationship the more pissed off I get that she could leave so easily and be so selfish in the process.
I don't know maybe I'm just getting Jaded now. I don't want to be this way. But it just pisses me off..
Yes she's a lesbian so what. She could have respected our vows and not got involved with another woman untill we were seperated or divorced. it still doesn't give her the excuse to treat me the way she did.
SELFISH SELFISH SELFISH..
"My worst enemy wouldn't have treated me with such calllous behavior. "
I completely agree Mophead I'm Right there with you..
Sorry for taking your soap box. you can have it back now..
Lostboy
