Re: Decisions... helpmehelphim: You've been given some great advice already and I will put in my 2 cents worth...he has to cut contact with the other woman!
As the one who cheated, I am trying to help my husband cope and recover, and I cannot imagine his trying to accept what happened if I was not willing to sever any remaining relationship with the other man.
If it were a work situation, where contact could not be avoided, I would even suggest a job change!
It's got to be one way or the other, he can't keep you in limbo!
Re: Decisions... withoutyou: Dear feel, I feel your should come out with firm decision.Love is like war.. if u feel defeated then no other way other then come out of bettle.As a man i feel like you havent tryed your best..mostly in such cases man (such type man)wants 'girlfriend' rather then 'wife'...so they diffrenciate wife and girlfriend.. you might have remain his girlfriend before u got married.. would u like to access those period? what you find diffrence in yourself as GF and wife... what you think is changed in you after getting merried to him? If i do access your husby's beheviour from your verson, i find some lakeing part is .. why u still love him? why you have not knowledge of his such behaviour before u get married to him? If, you say he was good then, it might something happned which changed him so... then go back to you and try to find out what makes him so changed? I noticed in human relationship that few ppls can act both 'GF and wife' / BF and husbund' at a times...I think your hubby need GF and wife together.... have you tryed to be his GF even you his wife? Dont think i am in fevour of him.. but as nutral adviser i would like to see his verson also...You migh have got here advises from similar ppls who suffuring like you.. so might they have 'yellow glass' on thier eyes....Try to be come out from 'yourself' and try to access his verson also....this might help you.. i giving u this advise cos divorse is last weapon to use to ourselves..... If i was suffurer like your i would like to give u advise to get out from this and that would be natural cos its makes me satisfied too !
Re: Decisions... ti-poux: [quote"> You are allowing yourself to be walked all over because you are not declaring your boundaries. You are keeping yourself in limbo while your husband plays with your heart and emotions. I believe he is only prolonging the inevitable, possibly to ease his conscience.[/quote">
I totaly agree with songbird.
He is being very selfish and it sounds like he is using you...don't you think you deserve better than that...and so does your son...I needs a good role model and that does not sound like one.
Best of luck
Ti-Poux
Re: Decisions... lostboy: It sound's as thought your Husband is having his cake and eating it too. It really is time to put your foot down and show some back bone in this situation.
If you don't he WILL continue to think he can run you and run all over you.
Enough is enough and you need to make that evident through your actions.
It's not fair that he treats you this way and it's about time you let him know it for the sake of your future and your sons.
What he is doing is nothing short of emotional abuse.
You NEED to make a decision. The longer you stay in this situation the more he will erode your self confidence.
I'm quite certain you could do better for your self.
I know you deserve better..
Keep Well,
Lostboy
