Bittersweet moments with the ex... PiscesGoddess: I sat here for awhile trying to figure out exactly what i wanted to post..or if I wanted to post at all..but I figured maybe for those just beginning the process that maybe you can get something out of this and learn that it is possible to travel years down the road and have some sort of an amiacable relationship with the ex.
He just came to drop our daughter off..he used to drop her off at a pre arranged meeting spot as he didnt want to see my new house, husband, life- (backstory quick- I did not cheat on him,,leave him in the dust with no reason or stomp his heart without reason-back then he was an abusive angry jerk off) okay that being said..lol.. he now drops her off at my house. He even was a pallbearer at my moms funeral ..with my husband being there at my side..they shook hands..having never met before.
We have became friends.. we ask about each others lives..I tell him I wish he would just meet a nice girl and settle down and get married..he tells me no one will ever compare to me..we joke back and forth. How we came to here I dont know..I know that there is still some denial on his part..probably always will be.
anyway ..he drops off our girl and wants to come in to see the baby..I say okay but he's in the bedroom..so he goes with me to the bedroom I share with my new husband to see me and my new husbands child sleeping. Then he hugs me and leaves.
now i have all these bittersweet feelings ..proud of him for finally being an adult about life moving forward..bittersweet because I remember back to when we were newly married and had a baby..just kind of teary because even though I know I would never want to be with him again that I can forgive and forget all the bad stuff that happened and will always carry a love ..not the kind that he wants..but its so much better than the hate I came to ojar with 2 and half years ago.
I even called my husband and related this for the most part to him and he just says good.. he knows the ex still has a torch for me..and we relay conversations back and forth about what the ex and I talk about and he's comfortable with it.
So I dont know..it all ..just feels ..strange in a way.. Like watching the remnants of one life and one woman I used to be walk away and finally fully accepting this new life and who I am becoming. Without there having to be hate and animosity.. now my first ex ...thats a whole other ball game..LOL :P
but for right now..for today ..for this moment..I am glad for this..and I hope that everyone gets to experience something beyond the pain of divorce.
Knowing I should be graduated and long gone....
Pisces
Re: Bittersweet moments with the ex... tyrogers: :-*
Re: Bittersweet moments with the ex... lostboy: Well Pices,
you given me hope that I might be able to have some semblance of a friendship with my ex at some point. Right now there is still a lot of pain and animosity but I'm hoping that will pass with time.
You'v also given me hope that the third times a charm, This is my second divorce. God it pains me to see that. but it's true. The first was quite devistating but I think this could be far more amicable.
I'm glad you found new love, happiness and forgiveness.
I have hope that I will be in your same place someday. But for now I take each day as it comes.
Lostboy
Re: Bittersweet moments with the ex... Ilosther: So proud of you PG. And proud of him. It seems that life does move on after a marriage ends. I've always stated my love for my wife will not end when she divorces me. She didnt do anything as a person to make me want to not love her. It's just the whole insitution of marriage that is ending and that has problems, but our friendship is still there. Course, we still need to finalize it, but I can only do my best to move forward. And it seems like you and your ex are doing just that.
A paper cannot end love. You can only end love if you want it to end. Sometimes that love just has to take a new form. Your story is just so warming to me and I can only hope life moves on as well as yours did, and your ex's.
Re: Bittersweet moments with the ex... PickingUpThePieces: Great post....Havehope put it so eloquently, sometimes the love just takes a different form. Right now I am hurt and angry at my stbx, but I hope one day we can be at a point that you and your ex are. It gives me some hope. I'm glad you have been able to move on and have a new life and have been able to move past the hurt/anger/hatred and forgive. That says a lot about you as a person. :)
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