Re: x families Bob-Bob: My In-Laws still love me, and are constantly inviting me to thier houses... unfortunatley right now I cannot be around them without feeling the hurt and loss of my wife, I have told them that I love them and appreciate them greatly but I have to get myself in a better place for now. every time I was around them memories of my wife would come back, I will never understand why it is that she left, I don't believe at this point she could be honest with herself much less me... but it is truly unfortunate that so many people are affected by a single divorce. My nieces and nephews (on my s2bx's side) love the time I spend with them and I feel so bad for them, I don't think she has even called them ( to busy with this other guy).
Bob
Re: x families inebr: Thank you all for the insight. Seems I'm not alone AT ALL on this one. My inlaws are far away so they really don't know whats going on at all. I don't think he has told them anything. I wish I could see them, tell them this wasn't my idea. I am afraid he'll present it to them in a way that it was either my fault or we agreed to split up ...it's awful to think of them being disappointed in me.
Re: x families notmyself: I had tried talking to them when I found out that x was.... not behaving as a husband should, because I am still not sure if he actually cheated. They weren't very receptive. I was very upset and asked that they not call stbx until I called them back. Of course they called him and that was the last time I talked to them. When he moved back home, they never called or anything. I did so much for them and I was totally dispensible. Just gone... whatever.... I thought we were closer than that. No one in his family has contacted me, to see if I am okay or anything. I can only imagine what x has told them.
Re: x families atd74: The only person I miss and was close to was my ex sister-in-law who lives with her family in Las Vegas. We were so close - she got me my first job out of college... I was there with her through the birth (which was very difficult) of her first baby, a girl named Emily whom I adore and she just adores me. My ex sister-in-law also has two twin boys turning 5 this September.
I also missed my nieces communinon which I was schedule to go to in May. Instead of going to the communion we got divorced. My niece of course was hurt wondering why I couldn't be there and thankfully my ex sister-in-law covered by saying I had to work. (How do you explain divorce to a 10 year old?)
I was brokenhearted but have gotten over the situation now. I have decided unfortunately to break most contact with my ex sis-in-law and family. I will continue to send presents and cards for xmas and birthdays but that's it.
Thankfully I was otherwise ecstatic to get the he** away from my ex family! They are from Italy - been here for 35 years - but still have the off the boat "old ways" of the old country. They were always loud and obnoxious, cold people and they always talked in Italian in front of me! All I could ever understand was my name... His other sister is a princess whom I never really got along with well anyway.
To notmyself,
I can understand where you are coming from when you say you wonder what your ex has told his family. I used to drive myself insane wondering this very same thing - it used to kill me to think that he was probably lying to his family just like he lied to me. He's so fricking delusional he's convinced himself that "we left each other" and that the other reason we got divorced is because I wanted kids and he didn't. I wanted so badly to make sure they knew what the real truth was... but when I finally talked to my ex-mother-in-law about what was going on she said, "I know how David is. I don't blame you... I know how he treated us so I can understand." So I have a feeling they knew - of course they know their son - but it still irked me.
I had to let it go because I knew in my heart what the truth was. I knew my family and friends knew and supported me. I didn't need have the need anymore to feel vindicated. Eventually you'll let go and learn to put it out of your mind and be at peace with this.
Re: x families Lance: Yeah I think about my ex in-laws all the time. Her brother and I hit it off great the first time we met, and his wife was the first one to call me from that side of the fence to check on me and offer their support. Her Mother and I were so close. I lost my Mother at an early age and I called her Mom. She told me I could make her laugh like no one else, I think she really needed that. I gave her big hugs every time I visited. Matter of fact the last time I saw her was in the store where she worked, right after the divorce became final. I thought it might be an awkward moment when we noticed each other but she opened up her arms and gave me the biggest hug. She filled me in on all the family events like it was just a Sunday afternoon visit. I have to say I shed a few tears driving home from there after that. My ex said her Mom called her that night and cried telling her how much she missed me. Her Father well let's just say I never showed him disrespect, and in the end even he was bringing me up to her every time they talk. I sure do miss them.
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