Re: x families justmenow: I will miss my in-laws very much. They were as much my family as my own family was. What hurts me so much is that I want to go and talk to them, but my X still hasn't told them that we got a divorce (he's not a very open person as you can probably tell). Do you believe that??? ::) He's going to have to tell them eventually, but I don't feel it's up to me to shoulder that burden. He should be there to break the news and field all the questions - am I wrong? I wish he'd tell them, though, because I really would like to go spend some time with them.
The holidays are going to be hard, definitely. I always felt so fortunate to have met someone with such personable parents, because I always was scared that my in-laws would be monsters. Oh well, I guess I get to play roulette again with that one.
Re: x families inebr: Yea, not seeing the inlaws anymore is sad for me. I see that when I think about this marriage ending it's almost more about grieving over the things that I THOUGHT it was going to be, not what it actally was. We weren't married long so there wasn't a lot of time to build the life together, but sharing my life with someone like him was what I always hoped and waited for. I had lots of hopes and visions of what my future would be like with him. And the inlaws were a big part of that future... :-/ Facing that all being gone is really difficult.
Re: x families grober: If you're close to your in-laws it makes your divorce that much more sad. While my In-laws had problems as a family, I still miss them. Especially around the holidays. My feelings of loss during my divorce were not only for my X but also for her family. During the divorce they were very supportive of me. I tried not to come between my X and her family. Her parents assured me that they would be there for my X as much as she would let them. She was very stand-offish to anyone that was close to her.
They all think the world of me and want me around (visit) as much as possible. Honestly, it is just a little too painful to do frequently. I'm trying to stay in touch my niece and nephews. So occasionally I'll see them. It is hard though. All of my in-laws have told me that they consider me family even now. I don't know what to expect long term or how things will eventually work out.
Also there is the added bonus that my X is bringing TOM around her family. Not that I blame her, it is her family after all, and TOM is a part of her life. But, if I EVER ran into the two of them I don't know what I'd do. So I feel like more and more I should keep my distance and let them all heal. I don't want to be a constant reminder of the past and interfere with my X's family relationships.
It is very sad.
Re: x families aisac: inebr -
I too miss my x inlaws. I am an only child with my parents, one set of granparents, and one distant uncle. I have no cousins, my mother recently remarried and is moving out of state and my dad and I have an extremely distant relationship. I miss having a family. They contacted me months ago and I went over to their house, but it was too painful. We discussed that as much as I care about them I can't be around them and move on. It was so strange. The wedding pictures being gone and all. My x sister-in-law and I are friends but its the same thing with her. They are so connected to my x in my mind that for now I have to seperate myself to try to move on.
Thanks for listening.
Re: x families dangergirl: I miss my step children most of all. While they lived in another state and it was a hard adjustment, me and the girls became really good friends. I still call them and we talk and laugh but it is not the same.
It is true that divorce doesn't just affect the ones going through it.
:-/
DangerGirl
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