I never knew (not sure where to post this) kellsbee: My entire life I was told I was ugly or worthless. My mother, my grandparents, even my husband (x husb now). Last night as I pulled away from Marty's house, I realized I was beautiful. To someone at least. I never knew I could be loved or missed the way he loved me. So the story goes...
The entire kansastock weekend was amazing! We left (lghawaiian and myself) to come home so I could take him to the airport. We stopped and picked up my hunny since I hadnt seen him in a week. I absolutely hated seeing LgH leave. We had such an amazing talk on the way home.
My s/o took my son and myself to eat dinner and then we went out to the lake to watch the planes fly over. At that very moment I knew he loved me. He grabbed my face and told me to look into his eyes (i have a real problem with this...I dont EVER look into his eyes because Im afraid of what he sees) He told me that he wanted to see my beautiful eyes. I was scared but i did it. The earth stopped spinning for one brief moment. I had no make up on, my hair looked like sh!t, i was hot and sweaty from the long ride in the car but he didnt see that!!!!!! He saw me. I didnt know that could happen. I never knew I was beautiful to anyone. I just want to cry every time i think of that moment. I want to grasp on to that look and those words. "i want to see your beautiful eyes" HOLY HELL BATMAN!!!!!!!!!
Annnddd....If this beats anything. He wanted to take my picture. Ok, so to some of you not a big deal but to me (ask LgH...we had JUST discussed this on the way home) HUGE, ENORMOUS, GIANT deal! No one ever wanted to take my picture. Here was Marty, snapping pictures of me and my son playing in the water and rolling around in the leaves wrestling....HE TOOK MY PICTURE!
Crap, what am I gonna do? He saw me. I am beautiful to someone -- I never knew I could be.
(will post a couple of the pics in a sec. Gotta upload em from the camera, I just had to get that off my chest)
Re: I never knew (not sure where to post this) Kermie: I always told ya you were beautiful, sis. You have no idea how happy I am for you and Marty. You are such a great person and have deserved someone like him for a very very long time. Ya know I luvs ya
Re: I never knew (not sure where to post this) PiscesGoddess: awww kells.. that almost made me cry :'( Im so happy that you found someone that finally sees how truly beautiful you are.. I understand EVERYTHING you are saying.. I still have a hard time letting my hubby look me in the eyes because I always feel.. I dont know..unworthy not attractive ..(and Ive been called a very attractive woman many times just doesnt sink in) and BOY do I understand the pictures thing!! I dont have one picture of me and my baby boy together and he's 7 months old because Iim not comfortable with the extra 20lbs or so I still have.. blah ..anyway feel like Im hijacking..I just wanted to tell you what a beautiful story this is..and maybe you and I both can heal from feeling so worthless for so long with love.
Big hugs!!!
Pisces
Re: I never knew (not sure where to post this) amola: oh kells! {{{{{HUGS}}}}} you ARE beautiful and i'm so glad that you can see it! i'm so proud of you!
;D :-* ;D :-*
love you!!!!
Re: I never knew (not sure where to post this) charmed: I can relate and the experts would tell us that we can't define ourselves by others' opinions, but you can't tell me that surrounding yourself by people who accepts you and makes you feel loved doesn't have positive effects. It makes a huge difference and it doesn't mean that we can't define ourselves by our own perspective. It just means we are receiving what every human being needs/wants - acceptance, appreciation and love.
You are beautiful and don't let anyone ever tell you different!!! ;D
`charmed
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