Re: someone is looking after me bjs2005: Kameee,
Good! Now that I think of it, she's a lot like you. So I hope you're right!
Re: someone is looking after me Emo: Browngreen!! I totally know what is going on with you, it happened to me.... About a month after my split I met this sweet sweet guy and we had everything in common down to taking the same classes in college and driving the same car. On top of that he was crazy about me, ready to be in the sort of relationship that I was looking for and treated me like a princess... and yet I was so numb from my breakup that I just couldn't feel anything strong for him but we kept seeing each other and I was honest with him about my situation, though I do think I jerked him around a bit unintentionally... well I felt really bad that I didn't feel as strongly towards him as he did towards me but then as time went on I just started to feel... comfortable with him and having him in my life and as I was getting over my breakup it was like I opened my eyes to what a wonderful thing I had right in front of me... I think I really started to fall for him when he had a surprise birthday party for me and made me a cake shaped like a Rickenbacker guitar (the kind I play) and checked out a book from the library that I had loved as a child so he could read it to me (My Father's Dragon).... It was like he could understand exactly what to do to make me feel special... and now we have been together for almost 3 months and recently I realized that I have fallen in love with him even though I never expected to.... just be patient and honest and who knows where you will end up, but I have learned that it really does take time... I think before I kind of expected to just know right away like I had with my ex... but every relationship is different....
Re: someone is looking after me whatnext: bg,
You mentioned elsewhere that he reminds you of George from Seinfeld. How much does that factor in for you?
Re: someone is looking after me ChristyM: I think if you have to try and convince yourself you should like him, it's not the right time for you. Granted, he might in fact be the right guy for you, but no matter how "right" he is, it just isn't going to work b/c of the timing.
But what do I know, I'm not ready to be in a relationship.
Christy
**Edited to add: he might be fitting the bill emotionally and all, but really, you have come in contact with other guys that you wanted to jump their bones so ...... take that for what it's worth.
Re: someone is looking after me browngreen: Yeah, Christy... there are the ones who's bones I just want to jump and then there's him... whom I can't imagine even holding hands with.
WTF?
I'm up at school today and I see this cute guy and we smile at each other and he walks away and I'm thinking "Oooo, so CUTE! I wonder what he'd say if I asked him out? If I see him again, I just might do that."
Of course, my mind is totally in the gutter in a situation like that. I'm not thinking about how he might be personality wise.
I really don't understand myself, and to be honest, I'm afraid that one of these days I might act on it, and end up in a half hearted relationship and hurting someone.
Whatnext,
Yeah, this is the same guy. Only he's not as funny and not a bit neurotic. The George Costanza comparison is stature and style, and ends there.
But part of me thinks in some way that this would be perfect in a funny sort of "Life wants to keep me humble" way. Like I need to be able to see the humor in a way that says "of course the right guy for me looks like George Costanza. If I don't get the joke, F-me, because life is giving me something good here but I'm being too caught up in BS to optimize it."
I think of all the times I prayed and wished my H would just treat me better, just TRY to be understanding or see things from my side, just pretend to have some grace, or altruism, to forget for a week about his ego.... and it's like here it is... everything I prayed for.
I just forgot to add that I'd like to be attracted to him!
Doh!
But maybe he's only supposed to be my friend anyway. And I guess until we have a talk about all this, I'm going to operate under that assumption.
I did a tarot card reading to ask about him, actually. I know, I know.... psychic friends network was a scam.... but the cards actually said something interesting. They said I need to draw upon a Heirophant, and will have one available for the next year.
So, the next card I drew was the heirophant card. So I had to look up a heirophant-- what is that?
It's a teacher, counselor, confidant.
This man, BTW, is a teacher, but his masters is in counseling.
So far, I've felt comfortable telling him just about everything.
Weird. Cool, but weird.
Emo,
I think that's super sweet that you fell in love with him. I think I will just give it time. I mean, maybe I'm all wrong about this and he'll end up meeting some woman who is just totally enamoured by him anyway. I'd be so stoked for him! Only time will tell.
Just me now-
I guess I should give a little background. I know you're right about the standing on own two feet. I've been away from my H since December, In the almost 3 years (35 months) we were married, we only lived together 21 months of that time! Less than 2 years! Sad, but true. I hung in there, standing on my own the whole time.
My H was a hinderance more than a help.
I'm tired of being so strong sometimes, you know? Regardless of the wisdom in not relationship hopping, I need to give myself someone to count on because it's been too long for me, and I'm very independent and spunky, and self sufficient... Honestly, I think this is becoming part of my problem. I have it pretty good on my own. Getting set in my ways... Can you say Spinster? LOL
How am I going to know unless I let someone in, a little bit?
I'm not saying I should go try to fall in love tomorrow. All I mean is that it would be nice, like Emo posted.
I don't know. Sometimes I think I just need to grow up for once, think about what makes sense, and do that. Like I need to stop "wanting it all"... the handsome husband and great sex and fun vacations, and financial security, and common interests, and BBQ parties every week, and....
Like maybe that's not me at all.
BJs-- who is that overanalyzation?!
BG
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