Re: learning problems? PiscesGoddess: alone-
Holly had some great ideas and I guess she would know more than me since she is a teacher..
but I would still have him tested...and stay in close contact with his teachers..also talk to him about something that may be going on. I also PM"d you some info on IEP's in case he is diagnosed with a learning disabilty which I hope isnt the case. Good luck sweetie..
Hugs
Pisces
Re: learning problems? alonewith2: First, I want to thank all of you who have replied! It is really tough being a single mom, but even harder when the other parent doesn't seem to interested in how my son does in school. (maybe it's genetic?)
Second, I'll give a little more background info on my son's development. He was born 3 weeks early (but I don't think that has anything to do with it). He didn't learn to walk until his 1st birthday (which I think is within the normal range). He didn't get potty trained until he was 3 1/2, but when he decided to do it....he just did it...no OOPS or anything. He attended daycare until he was 3 and did wonders there with learning colors, speaking, and numbers. Then I had to take him out of daycare because I couldn't afford it anymore. During the time from age 3 to age 4, he had two primary babysitters. I asked each one of them to keep his learning going, but they didn't. So when he turned 4, I put him back in daycare so that he could learn more before school. (he still didn't know his alphabet, how to write his name, etc....) But it turns out the daycare was only a daycare and not a learning facility (or that is how they put it when I inquired). So the summer before he was to start kindergarten, I had to push to teach him the alphabet, how to write his name, how to write his numbers, etc.....
Then in Kindergarten, the teacher noticed his lack of fine motor skills, but kept wanting to say that it was just because he was younger. (he turned 5 in July). She told me to get him coloring, writing, etc....but I told her that no matter what I did, he was interested. I asked her if I should force him or coerce him in some way, but she said no.....so then nothing else happened and she passed him.
Then in 1st grade, the teacher once again brought up his lack of fine motor skills and wanted me to have him color and write more. I explained the conversation from his kindergarten teacher and asked her if she knew anyway to get him to color or write more. She didn't. Then later in the year she asked if I would be okay with having an occupational therapist look into it to see if it was something more that we were missing. I told her I was fine with that, but never heard anything from her again. She also said that she usually can pick up quickly on a child's learning style and try to adapt for each one of their individual needs, but that my son had her at a total loss. Nothing she did seemed to work, and she didn't know what to do. But she passed him.
So now he is in 2nd grade, and it seems that nothing has changed. He still doesn't have very good fine motor skills, but he refuses to write or color. He is slipping in the other areas as well. He just doesn't seem interested in learning. I had mentioned before that when he does apply himself, he can quickly pick up on things and get good grades, but it just doesn't seem like he wants to. He has mentioned several times to me that he thinks he's stupid. Those were his words, not mine. I tell him all the time that I think he's a very smart boy, but he just needs to pay more attention to the teacher and focus on his assignment.
*continued*
Re: learning problems? alonewith2: *continued*
I have talked with my sister who is a special education teacher about my son. I felt that she would have a better understanding because she has practically helped raise him. But she refuses to talk seriously about his problems. I don't think she wants to face the fact that her precious angel could have a problem. She also knows how stereotyped people get in this area when it comes to learning disabilities and that the school systems don't seem to do too much with them. (she has left the school systems and now works for SERVE which directly deals with only disabled persons....and has been hired to teach those children who are autistic and severly MR.....and the first time they have incorporated this into their care providing.)
I guess part of me has held off the past two years because I didn't want to admit that he may have problems either. He can be such a bright boy. He has "written" his own story books which he sells to family members at family functions for $0.50/piece. He has also written his own songs (which are very good.......one line from one of his songs....."Dry the tears streaming down your face, your bleeding heart can not erase the pain." and that was 2 seconds after he learned that one of my flowers outside was a bleeding heart...and it had just rained.....so it was so unreal to hear him sing that.....
He has been learning the guitar and to play the organ. I don't get to practice the organ with him as much as I used to. And his stepdad hasn't been keeping up with his guitar lessons. So I'm just not sure anymore.
I guess the best thing to do is go to his teacher and ask about the spelling words. I like the idea of having the teacher give them to me without my son knowing so that way I can still try to teach him responsibility, but not jeopardize his grades....the rest, I guess we'll just have to figure out as we go along.
Re: learning problems? alonewith2: Okay, so my son comes home today WITHOUT his spelling words. It is too late to call his teacher to get them....so I guess he'll fail the test this week, too. However, he did have to papers in his backpack. One was to let me know that he qualifies for Title 1 reading and one for Title 1 math. I can understand the reading, but I don't understand the math. He's good at math, except he still writes some numbers backwards...he even had a math paper in the backpack that he had gotten a 100%. What exactly is Title 1 and how do they base their qualifications?
Re: learning problems? WhiskeyGirl: Hey s-n-b :) I am certainly not a teacher but my daughter had a tough time with reading in kindergarten as well (didn't help that she had "hitler woman" for a teacher) but she would get frustrated and refuse to even try to read the books that came home EVERY night that she had to read and then write about how she liked the book all by herself! This is KINDERGARTEN! sheesh ::)
anyway I finally said to hell with what her teacher expected and worked on building her self confidance by giving her much easier reading tasks and showing how PROUD I was of her everytime she got a single word right. I stopped talking about her problems with reading anytime it was remotely possible that she could hear me, I told her teacher to NEVER "fail" her at anything (at least dont put it anywhere SHE could see it)....just put a freaking star on her work and send it home....I would work on it with her.
It was absolutely amazing the change in her!!! She enjoyed learning again and by the end of the year she was one of the best readers in the class. She felt "stupid" too....that was her problem and her only problem. She felt stupid, the other kids could do it and she couldn't, she hated failing at anything and so she just didn't even bother trying. She is now in grade one and the teacher has nothing but positive comments on what a bright little girl she is and how she LOVES to learn.
I have heard great things about the sylvan learning centres, they are great for building self esteem. Mabey try something like that. It sounds to me like your little guy has just decided that he will never "get it" so rather than try and fail he would rather not try at all (hmmm that sounds familiar) Now that attitude is spilling into his other work as well. He sounds like a bright kid....mabey just a bit sensitive and needs some reassurement that he is absolutely brilliant :) I would hate to see him lose interest in school so young :( and kids naturally love to do things where they "WIN" I say set the stage for the next few months so he "wins" everytime he tries and I bet you see some of that interest come back.
Good luck girl! Keep us posted :)
Whiskey
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