Re: The "Let's Be Friends" Speech PnR: I believe its possible to be friends if you are truely over the person and can handle it if they are with someone else. I've managed to be friends with a couple of my ex's for a while but it hasn't lasted.
I really wanted to be friends with one of my ex's once and he said to me "I can't be friends with you because whenever I'm around you I wan't to be with you". I thought he was being a --ss at the time but now I can understand it from his point of view.
Re: The "Let's Be Friends" Speech hollygolightly: Great advice, everyone. Really, I already knew how I felt about it, but sometimes you just need to hear someone else say it!
I initiated the breakup once I realized he drank too much for what is acceptable to me. I suggested we could maybe date occasionally, but I didn't want to be with him when he's drunk.
I know I couldn't handle being his friend is he's seeing someone else. Like PnR said, I couldn't be friends with him, because I'd want to BE with him.
Thanks again!
Re: The "Let's Be Friends" Speech tara: [quote author=dgiirl link=topic=19050.msg171689#msg171689 date=1127312761">
I dont think ppl can come out of a relationship straight into friendship. Usually one party has feelings for the other, and this promise of friendship just gives that party false hope. Break it off now, give yourself a year to get over the heartache, and IF you want to be friends, let it be a year or two from now. Once you've gotten the other person out of your system, maybe it could work.
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I was able to go from my marriage straight into friendship with my ex. Then again, the marriage was on life support for more than three years anyhow, so by then I'd done most of the grieving.
I'm also a logical thinker, which I think makes things easier than if I was an emotional thinker. Once Al and I decided to split, I was never in denial about the end. I knew it was over. I never really let myself want him back (and I never really did want him back at that point).
You are right, though -- if you want him back, or he wants you back, or you're otherwise not on the same page, it's not going to work. I won't necessarily say you need a year (that's arbitrary -- some people need a week; others need a decade).
Oh, and NO EX SEX. That's a must, in my book, if you're going to be friends. I am capable of being friends with exes; I am capable of sex without emotional involvement. I am not, however, capable of sex without emotional involvement if there was emotion with that person in the past.
Re: The "Let's Be Friends" Speech freovir: [quote"> "If you don't want all of me, you can't have any of me."[/quote">
THAT WAS ME!!!!
--fre
p.s. so excited about being quoted that i quit reading. brb.
Re: The "Let's Be Friends" Speech freovir: darn, everyone else already gave the good advice.
--fre
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