shouldn't have answered his call husky: made the big mistake of answering my ex's phonecall. he has been calling but up to last friday, i have been ignoring him. we broke up 3 mths ago, after a 2 year relationship, and he started seeing someone else 1 mth later. i couldn't take it and decided to cut off all contact with him but he insists on being friends and keep calling.
finally answered his call last friday to see what exactly he wants. he said he just wanted to talk. told me he broke up with his new gf (after a few weeks together) because he realised they cannot communicate. basically he slept with her first and decided to get together after that. and now he is seeing a married woman but he is not committing to her. god, how low can he get! how on earth did he become like that?!
the horrible thing is i got bloody affected by all these. seems like these 3 mths of trying to get over him has gone to waste. he is such a jerk so i don't know why i still feel so upset over him. feel so foolish. i don't know what to do.
Re: shouldn't have answered his call skooz: Husky,
I know it's very difficult when they try to contact you. Well, I don't KNOW it because my STBX and I don't speak AT ALL, but I can imagine. I know that if he calls one day I will want to hear what he has to say, it's like I actually expect it!
But let me tell you something: You can't allow him to pretend you're his safety net. You don't have to hear his affair/breakup stories. You don't have to hear things your heart can't take. You say this is affecting you, so for your own sake, don't answer his calls anymore. It's very tempting, I know, but be careful. If he left you for another person, if he decided to do that, then he should let you move on.
And no, these last 3 months haven't gone to waste. This is just a set back and I know it hurts, but remmy what they say: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Sometimes these things have to happen so we can realize what we weren't able to realize before.
Good luck to you. Keep your strength! Most important thing: Don't beat yourself up for this, "Even the best fall down sometimes."
F.
Re: shouldn't have answered his call jadedangel: [color=blue"> My ex calls and wants to be 'friends' .. as well. He almost seems hurt and offended when I don't want to sit and chit chat with him --- so I know it's hard. You still care about him .. and still want that contact, but it does definately set you back.
I can be having a great week ... doing fine ... not a care in the world .. bam -- pick up the phone, caught offguard and I am destroyed in moments again. Everything I work to build .. he knocks down with a hello --- my life is going great .. how are you? The only thing I can really say is ... it gets easier --- each time I pick up the pieces ... I don't have to pick up as many -- each time he calls ... I don't fall apart.
You will soon learn .. you don't miss him -- you miss who he was. He is only going to remind you of that each time you speak to him it sounds like. [color">
Re: shouldn't have answered his call husky: thanks, both!
perhaps the reason why i answer his call is that i don't want to appear like stubborn b#%ch who can't even be friends with him, after he called repeatedly. seems like he put aside his pride and keep calling even after i told him off and said no way i can be friends with him. so, on that account, i answered his call. but that will be the last time. he called me again last night and just now but i did not answer. felt bad but would have been worse if i answered, i think.
and frogster, you are right about him treating me as a safety net. have a feeling he calls me when he is alone and bored and when those women are not around.
jadedangel, hope things are going fine for you. saw some of your postings and seems like we are having the same problem. i miss the little things we used to do together. like you said, it is getting better. it's been 3 months since we broke up so more or less, i am used to life without him. it's strange but sometimes i feel like i am perfectly over him already and at certain times i'll feel sad again. don't understand why i feel this way.
Re: shouldn't have answered his call fiona: Husky, I think we're in the same place recovery wise. I haven't answered calls yet. I just don't think I can emotionally go there. I don't want to appear the B@tch either, and it's hard to know where to draw the line. I just want to not be reactive around him and just be friggin "normal" if I see him/hear from him.
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