Re: Blown Away unhappy: Please do not get mad at me but I must ask the following question--
Is she on drugs or do you think she has a chemical inbalance? Seriously this does not sound like rational behavior.
[i"> Is it time to embrace my anger? ,
If you need to -- do it! Just make sure the kids are not around.
She's taken my whole life away -
Even though she has taken away the life you once knew you are a healthy person that will be able to build a new life for you and the kids...the sun will rise again I promise.
I don't want to let her take my character away from me too. But I'm at my wits end. I'm a broken man right now and I am just trying to get by for my kids.
From what I have read you are an honorable man she could never take your character. Her actions are HER ACTIONS and everyone knows that. And as far as being at your wits end and broken -- any normal humanbeing would be. I hope your seek counseling and if you believe in a higher power continue to seek him and pray...
Its great your getting your children help--how lucky they are to have such an caring father...
*I pray you and your kids find peace.
Re: Blown Away Dire Wolf: Thanks Absolute. You are right. Unless someone experriences what its like to be with a person with a chemical imbalance they cannot possably understand. And you're also right about the fact that no one can help her except her.
She was just here 5 minutes ago(actually asking to borrow $20 from me to gas hertruck if you can believe that. her audacity knows no limits) and I asked her why we traded in her Mitsubishi Galant that only had 60k miles on it and I kept my Dodge Dakota with 92K miles on it if she had "known for some time" that she wanted out? She said "well you wanted to keep your truck". But how was I to know that my wife would have an affair and betray me? I asked he what I am supposed to do when my truck breaks down and I cant get to work to support the kids? She said, "then you can use the Jeep, I'm not gonna be a total dic*". So at least she is only going to be a partial dic*. God, I find myself hating her more and more each day.
The therapist is helping alot, but only time will heal my broken soul. But I made a big step last night and today in realizing the fact that I don't want this in my life anymore and it is not worth fighting to get this same situation back in my life. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am the victim. When she comes down from this emotional high she is on, she will have to live with regret for the rest of her life. I am just scared for my kids that she may try and hurt herself. But I can't live the rest of my life worrying about that. I can't move on if I do.
DW
Re: Blown Away Kermie: DW - Holy Crap I was reading your post and I had to look up several times to make sure it wasn't one of my old posts. You and me have just about everything in common right down to the Jeep Liberty. I am now a year into my seperation with about 4-6weeks to go before the divorce is final. My ex sounds like the mirror of yours, the drinking, the drugs, the leaving the kids behind, the total blindsind, the love notes weeks prior, even the age of our children are very very close. If you want to talk PM me. I will fill you in on what your life will be like for the next year if ya want ;D. I will tell you one thing that is very very important and that is to start a journal. Write in it everyday, get atape recorder, record all messages. Let her know that you will be recording all conversations from this point forward and get her to agree on tape. Take care of the kids above all else, focus on them as many have said here, they will be your salvation. Try to control your emotions, your thinking yea right how can I do that when they change every five seconds and I want her to get hit by a bus, but your emotions will bring you to your knees, and that is no where to fight from. It will be a fight and it will make you sick to see this piece of Sh$t with your wife and kids. But over time you will see that it is all worth the fight to get rid of her. In the end you will have control over your own life and you will find someone to share your life with that respects you and whom you respect. I think I will call you MirrorMe. Keep your shoulders back, its not an easy time in your life, but I am proof that someone of almost identical circumstances can come out on top. I am always around either on Ojar or Yahoo IM. Type what you feel, it is a great release and it will help you through some of the harder times yet to come.
Re: Blown Away unhappy: One of my major issues is my mother who had an affair and then abandoned my father, myself, and my two brothers when I was just 7. My wife knew I had abandonment issues and for her to exploit that knowledge fills me with so much resentment and sadness that it hurts. I feel like she attacked me where it would hurt the most.
***i am so sorry -- I too had someone in my life that used the very thing they knew would hurt the worst against me ..... ya think ya know someone and realize that ya didn't know all of them................all i can say is karmas a bit**.
Re: Blown Away Dire Wolf: I did start seeing a therapist yesterday and it helped tremendously. He helped me get somethings off my chest. One of my major issues is my mother who had an affair and then abandoned my father, myself, and my two brothers when I was just 7. My wife knew I had abandonment issues and for her to exploit that knowledge fills me with so much resentment and sadness that it hurts. I feel like she attacked me where it would hurt the most.
I asked her yesterday to go with me to next week's session and she agreed. Then as she was leaving I said to her, "look, I know we've done some hurtful things to each other this past week(I have said some mean things, like filthy whore, and I hope you get pregnant out of emotion) but..." then she cut me off and said' "well you have." After she left I called her and asked for her to just not sleep with him for a week and she said' "I'll think about it but I'm gonna do what I want to do" That was my moment of enough is enough. If she will not see what she is doing to me and will only continue to push the blame on me then there is no hope in my mind and I don't want her in my life. But for my kids I will suck this week up so that I canm get her to a therapist to perhaps at least save her from herself. I didn't tell her that he thinks she is either bi-polar or a manic-depresant so I didn't scare her off. But as far as fixing us, I no longer think it is possible.
DW
