Re: Are we too selfish and thats why we break up? 1st fiddle: I don't know if it is being selfish, I wanted some communication with truth. Maybe that was selfish of me.
Re: Are we too selfish and thats why we break up? MichaelMail: What do you do if your ex tries to remind you of herself.
Not that she is suggesting we can make things work and live happily ever after, but more of an emotional release for her.
Reaching out to see how I will react.
IT IS STARTING TO DRIVE ME NUTS
Re: Are we too selfish and thats why we break up? sigkapgirl: The solution that most people use is no contact. All at the same time, this is the hardest and easiest solution.
Also, I'm not sure if she'll listen to you, but you might want to just tell her point blank that all communcation needs to go through a lawyer/mediator or, if you have children, then anything you talk about needs to relate to their well-being, rather than her or you.
Don't know if this is an option for you, but when I cut all contact, I changed my email, cell phone number, EVERYTHING. The only way for him to find me was through my parents (and that wasn't going to happen!). Again, I dont' know if this is feasible in your situation, but its what worked for me!
Hope that helps :)
~TH
Re: Are we too selfish and thats why we break up? dgiirl: noooo contact :) Or, until everything's final very limited contact (which i'm on right now). Handle everything like a business transaction. Keep everything via email, that way there's no he said she said.
As for your original question, it really doesnt matter who's to blame. I kept trying to figure out who was to blame. The reality is he's 100% to blame for his actions, and i'm 100% to blame for my own actions. Some of the things I did was wrong, some of the things he did was wrong, but we both did what we thought was best at the time, and when we knew better, we did better. You cant put all the blame onto her, because even if she did everything wrong, you're to blame for putting up with it. You cant let yourself be a victim, because you wont learn from the experience. If we're going to suffer this much pain, I'd like to have something positive come out of it by learning something and improving myself. Otherwise, the whole thing was in vain and I'll repeat the same mistakes again. That's why they say focus on yourself. You have to figure out the things YOU did wrong, what you can learn from the experience.
