im so conflicted... tearsrunoneway: Im not sure if what I am feeling is me wanting her back or me afriad of being alone or my pride is hurt because she left me and went to someone else. So I dont know how to act. Im shaking right now. I just tried calling her and she doesnt answer me. Why wont she answer? I did nothing wrong, it was her that left. Yet, she wont have any contact with me and is treating me like shit. Everytime I call and she doesnt answer I just get that much more angry. That she cant even speak to me and I slowly am losing any dignity I ever had in her eyes. I hate that she has all the power that I am now a whipped puppy to her. I feel if I could talk to her and get some answers that I could have some closure and move on - but she wants to contact = only the one or two quixk conversations when she left. Am I asking for too much? Doesnt she owe me that after 6 yeas? I just want to talk. I just dont want to feel THIS anymore, I dont know how much more of this I can take...
Re: im so conflicted... Older Guy: tearsrunoneway,
Sorry for what you're going through and can only imagine how you can feel. Yuor efforts so far to contact her and get anwsers have all been fruitless.
My only advice to you would be to stop calling her. It doesn't seem like she will be giving you any answers anytime soon and you are just setting yourself up for disapointment.
As hard as it may be...you need to move on and focus on your own life.
[quote"> Im not sure if what I am feeling is me wanting her back or me afriad of being alone or my pride is hurt because she left me and went to someone else. [/quote">
Theres' probably an element of all of the above in your reaction. Once you start moving on and start rebuilding your life this will porbably become less intense and important for you. And you'll realize that you're better off than to be with someone who doesn't care.
Good lcuk
OG
Re: im so conflicted... tearsrunoneway: thanks OG for the words. Ive had time to calm down and feel better. 23 hrs of the day I think, "dont call, there is no point, dont be stupid" - but then there is that time at night where thoughts start to race in my head and I feel the only way to stop them is to try and call - and Im back at square one. I just hate that she knows Im still torn up. I wish I was better at putting on a fascade. I just wish I could take back all those calls and know that I wont do it again - I hate that she put me in the 'crazy ex boyfriend' position. But I know I can stop it. Ill just try and be a little stronger tomorrow.
Re: im so conflicted... Older Guy: tearsrunoneway
What helped me turn the corne was to change my expectations of what i wanted to accomplish by calling and overall.
So my question to you would be: "What are you trying to accomplish by calling her?". Your answer will probably apply to your overall perception of your situation.
All of my actions in the first 2 months or separation were designed to try to get my wife to come home and us get back together. Every time I called her i had that in mind. When i wasn't calling her, i was thinking about it. It was driving me crazy. I decided to change my focus, accept the situation and change my expectations of the future. And most importnatly startedthinking about myself and doing things for myself. I stopped calling her. I started feeling better and better. In the course of a few weeks i started to feel pretty good. Until "she" started calling me but thats a whole other story.....
Hang in there.
OG
Re: im so conflicted... BigRunner493: hey tears..
she has all the power because you're giving it to her. your not losing your dignity, you're letting her take it from you. like OG said, what are you planning on accomplishing by calling her. are you expecting some miracle that she'll answer and then everything will be better?? more than likely you're making it worse by calling.
it does feel horrible, i've been there, but it feels worse when you constantly validate her feelings for you by calling with no response. i'll be honest, it's gonna suck for awhile. it's no fun. you need to focus on yourself and stop trying to reign her back in. we all do it though, don't get me wrong, we all try every means possible to put it together again. so don't beat yourself up for trying and calling, but realize exactly what you are donig and what you want from it.
every day it will get a little easier, just take baby steps.
br
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