Counselling Erin: Why is it that when I leave my counselling session I feel good about the plan I have made for myself to get through the next few days. I am sure about what I need to do, and I feel strong in it, I know that I can do it. But then I wake up the next day and I feel like crap.
That next morning (ie today) everything that we talked about seems impossible. Like a huge mountain to climb. I am sad, have that sinking feeling in my stomach and am holding off crying.
We've talked about trying to get through a week with no contact. It seems that everytime I try to do this, I can't stop myself from picking up the phone when he calls. I keep thinking that maybe he'll have something new to say, but each time he does nothing new happens. I end up feeling worse after it all. I am learning this, I know this, but I can't apply it.
Sigh....why can't I be strong for a WHOLE DAY?
Re: Counselling lostboy: Hey Spinning,
I have a theory..
as to why your feeling like this the next day.
I think it's based on the feeling's you have of loss when you first wake in the morning. I know this feeling is universal. We all have it. That sudden recognition that there is no one laying next us when the sun peeks through the window and we open our eyes. This totally affects our perception and any plans that we had made the previous day. any resolutions are kind of thrown out the window because this emotion is so over whealming it takes over. The feeling of doubt and fear and loss.
But I think as you start working through the day it will diminish. The plans that you made the day before will move into focus and reality will shift as you become aware of you self and your resolutions that were made in your counseling session. Granted they may not be quite as strong. I mean it certainly helps when you have a coach (I.E you counselor) right allong side you saying go get em tiger you can do it..etc.. but I think you will feel some of that energy from the day before as you get out and start processing through your day. You know who you are, you know what you need and you know what you need to do to achieve it. Nothing has changed but perspective.
I trully hope you have a wonderful day that allows you to progress spinning. you'v been through hell but I really see you moving forwawrd and there is indeed a light that is leading you out of this hole.... Follow it.
Keep Well Keep safe,
Lostboy
Re: Counselling Mooneyes: You know loss takes time to recover from. I think being well all day is an extraordinary goal. I think a good goal is being well right now. Feeling good right now. In a way it is like meditation. When someone meditates the focus on one thing, or they focus on nothing. When something other than their focus comes into perspective you recognize it and gently push it out of your mind. The more conscious you become the quicker you get to recognizing it, and the faster you recover from it.
I think Lostboy has a good idea though about being reminded first thing in the morning. Perhaps you need something else first thing in the morning that will give you extra energy and make you feel good. I imagine that differs from individual to individual.
Good luck. You aren't alone with your hurting.
Re: Counselling getreal: Try this...which is one of a thousand things I have done in my LONG relationship past.
When your eyes open.....get up...take a REAL cold shower(RIGHT AWAY)with NO TIME TO THINK....put on your worse "I will survive" song as loud as your neighbors will allow, turn the ringer on the phone OFF, and if possible put the phone out of sight.....EAT a healthy breaktfast......walk yourself our a pet...if possible walk a hell of a lot longer than usual....keep telling yourself...."damn girl....I´m cool"......breath deep now and then to get the oxigen flowing through your brain.........WHEN THOUGHTS OF YOU KNOW WHO....come into your mind......."say to yourself.....YO......my mind is one thing I AM IN CONTROL OF.....think of something else.......anything else.
When you get back home...use the rest of the day to call OTHER people you love to thank them for all the suport they have given you in all life situations......try to avoid talking about your X....if they start to talk about him....change the subject to other things they have been suportive with...
Try this for at least a week.......It worked for me...HOWEVER....the same plan won´t work every week :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* (your real friends)
Re: Counselling damn53: I feel like exercising first thing in the morning helps, then smoking cigarettes. lol
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