? for the leavers..... curt998: or the leavees who may have figured this one out. How is it that when someone leaves someone for their own reasons, not anything the other has done, they can be so cold, matter of fact, and unfeeling? I think this is the hardest thing I am able to come to grips with because I keep comming back to it time and time again....
Re: ? for the leavers..... Candygirl: hmm... I am the leaver. People may say I seem cold since i refuse to have any contact with my ex at all. It probably has more to do with me being stubborn and refusing to be with someone who doesn't appreciate or love me the way I believe I should be loved.
Sometimes we go from being so in love with someone, to absolutly despising them due things that happend in the relationship. This may make us seem cold.
Just my opinion... and I'm not really that sure about it myself :-\
Re: ? for the leavers..... DarrenB: I think it's a defense mechanism on the leavee's part to absolve themselves of guilt , to not make themselves vulnerable to feelings of guilt and betrayal, and to convince themselves that they are doing the right thing.
It's easier to put up a hard nosed front and talk yourself into being mad or indifferent, than it is to deal with the guilt of leaving someone, or the wondering of wether or not it is the right thing to do.
Re: ? for the leavers..... curt998: My rational side I guess knows this. But right now I am living mostly emotionaly...
Always good to be brought into reality....
Curt
Re: ? for the leavers..... twetifb: I left my stbx and I haven't been cold towards him at all. In fact, he was the one who initially turned cold so that I felt the guilt. After the initial shock of me leaving we were friendly to each other for a few months. When he decided to move out of state I helped him back, sell furniture, load the truck, I offered anything I could because that's the type of person I am. My stbx would say that I turned cold now because I'm not going to visit him next month but being cold has nothing to do with it, my life does.
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