Re: ? for the leavers..... summerparis: Well, I remember when I broke up with my BF, I had a very clear realization that our relationship just couldn't continue, and that it would actually be unfair to him in the long run to stay with him. If I seemed cold to him, it was because any sign of warmth or tenderness was construed by him to mean that I still wanted to be with him, and I didn't want to hurt or confuse any more than he already had been.
I don't know if this applies to your situation, and I'm sorry that you're struggling with this.
Re: ? for the leavers..... KdUb: [quote author=Songbird link=topic=19576.msg178654#msg178654 date=1128102027">
Well, I remember when I broke up with my BF, I had a very clear realization that our relationship just couldn't continue, and that it would actually be unfair to him in the long run to stay with him. If I seemed cold to him, it was because any sign of warmth or tenderness was construed by him to mean that I still wanted to be with him, and I didn't want to hurt or confuse any more than he already had been.
I don't know if this applies to your situation, and I'm sorry that you're struggling with this.
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That may be what I'm going through. I misunderstand any sign of warmth by my STBXW as a sign she wants to be with me but then she also says that she is confused and hasn't made a decision either way so I don't know what to think really. I'm kinda done thinking tho. Or at least I want to be. ::)
Re: ? for the leavers..... dgiirl: My ex did the same thing as Songbird. He told me it hurt him a lot to act the way he did in the initial months, but he needed me to understand that going back to the relationship was not an option for him. So he was an a$$hole so I could hate him.
Boy was he an a$$hole, and boy do i ever hate him.
Re: ? for the leavers..... KdUb: [quote author=dgiirl link=topic=19576.msg178681#msg178681 date=1128103100">
My ex did the same thing as Songbird. He told me it hurt him a lot to act the way he did in the initial months, but he needed me to understand that going back to the relationship was not an option for him. So he was an a$$hole so I could hate him.
Boy was he an a$$hole, and boy do i ever hate him.
[/quote">
See, I don't want to end things like that with my STBX. I really want things to end on a good note, or as good of a note as you can have when you're ripping apart your life - but you get the idea. I did give her an ultimatum tho since she claims not to know what she wants. She better figure it out by next friday or the papers are getting SIGNED!
Keegan
Re: ? for the leavers..... dgiirl: For things to end on a good note, you need lots of time. Time separate from each other. I was SO SO angry in the beginning, still am. And no matter what he did, I would have hated him for it. Seriously, how can you end things on a good note when you're forced to do something you dont want to do? You just try to protect each other from your anger and let them go. Maybe years from now, things can end on a good note. Right now, I just want it to end. I can live with myself and the way I've handled the whole situation. I havent lost my self respect.
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