Re: I'm a newbie...and heartbroken cyncyn_22: [quote author=AfterMath link=topic=19579.msg180690#msg180690 date=1128365495">
Oh Sweety we all fall down. All the time. Thinkin' about you.
Suck away I say (Your thumb that is.)
[/quote">
Thanks for the sympathy. Sometimes I feel like a moron saying all of these things, because sooner or later I think yall are going to get sick of me moaning and complaining all the time. But if I can't moan and complain here, where the heck can I?! ;)
I'll see my ex again tomorrow. I'm thinking about telling him how miserable I feel, and asking him how he feels, because I get the feeling that he's miserable too.
*sucking thumb!* ;D
cyncyn_22
Re: I'm a newbie...and heartbroken jfb: I am very sympathetic. Please believe me when I say STAY IN SCHOOL. A semester of rough grades is worth it, believe me. I have twice had to put off schooling for the same man. These two decision were the biggest mistakes of my life. I'm fighting to get back into my last program. My divorce would be a lot easier if I had stayed in school, if not just because at least that aspect of my life would have remained reasonably undisturbed.
Break-ups are hard, particularly when you have planned a future together.
Staying in College is the smartest thing you can do. You will absolutely regret leaving if you do so out of distraction and sorrow over this man. Think of it this way, College is something you can do for you. It's the career equivalent of a pedicure. You may be smart enough to design a space station, you need the degree to hone that. If the primary reason you are thinking of leaving is because of this man, don't leave. Education is the uniform to play in the job market. It's important that you give any decision about leaving careful thought, over months.
Speaking to a career counsellor might be a good idea as well. If you are concerned about being comfortable on campus or feel you made poor program choices based on this man, you could consider a switch in major or transfer schools. I would do this only after very careful thought. My decisions to leave were very split second, borne out of grief and confusion. They have severly interfered with my happiness, moreso than my marriage if you can believe it.
I feel for you. This is a very difficult time. I am very sympathetic about what you are going through. I know this letter may seem a little harsh. I don't mean it to be. I'm just trying to give you the benefit of my experience. I would not wish the results of my decisions on you. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you put months of thought into it.
Best wishes. Please update us when you are ready.
Re: I'm a newbie...and heartbroken changed4ever: I'm sorry for your pain, but know that you are much better to know this now than later down the road. I was with my STBX for 14 years( since my first year of college) married for 7 with two little girls. Trust me, if I can pick up the pieces and move on, so can you. I was devasted when I found out he cheated and later moved in with his girlfriend. I didn't think that he would ever do something like that. I swear I don't think that anyone has taken a break-up as bad as I did. I couldn't even type my story on OJAR until almost 8 months later, it was to painful. I know about the loneliness, the depression, the constant thinking about them. Time will dull your pain and you will be happy again. It gets better.
Please stay in school, you have no idea what kind of life altering decision you are contemplating. I know the job market stinks right now, but trust me a degree opens doors in the world. Without a degree, your earning potential decreases tremendously. Later in life, you will look back at the defining moments of your life and this will be one of them. Make sure you don't make rash decisions based on your pain. Trust me, in time this relationship will just be something you did once. It will just be a memory. You are a strong and smart person. Take care of yourself and know that we are always here to listen, even if you just want to vent. You will be ok.
Re: I'm a newbie...and heartbroken EssieDotCom: I know many times I've wanted to do crazy stuff, like dropping out of school bc of a man, but i agree with everyone else, men just aren't worth it. Don't give them the personal sastifaction of thinking that they've broke you. Keeping moving forward and find a new direction in your life without them. Best of luck to you! :)
Re: I'm a newbie...and heartbroken cyncyn_22: Thank you all for the encouragement!!!! The good news is I'm starting to do some studying again, which after the breakup I dreaded doing, I was like, "What's the point?", and I had no sense of urgency about doing homework that was due the next day. Now I do.
Talked to my ex today. We had a good friendly conversation, but he seemed kind of withdrawn today, like he really didn't want to talk to me or anyone. Then I told him how miserable I was about the breakup this weekend and he told me he wasn't miserable. I was hoping he would use this opportunity to open up and share his feelings, but he didn't.
But I made it clear to him that if he ever needed to talk about his feelings, that I would be there for him, and I meant it.
cyncyn_22
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