for the humor inclined flowersdirtandgardengirl: Okay, I admit it. I often use humor as a means of coping with things that seem entirely too big to otherwise pick-up or put away. And sometimes, I admit, I use humor during seemingly unlikely times, in unlikely places. Like, say, being left by the love of my life (a life, I admit, is not even close to being over, but I need you to understand the melancholy and boarderline mellowdramatic headset I've been in for weeks).
I went to Boarder the other day, desperate for some insight. I was sleepless, desperate, a little-too-skinny, and sad. I wanted my life back. I wanted to get over it and move on. I needed to know that there was someone out there who had gone through such saddness and sorrow and loss, had gotten through it and then had something to say about it. And then, I wanted to take them home so I could pour over their words in the middle of the night because I wasn't sleeping or while my friends were out to dinner because I wasn't eating and I had heard too many comments about how much weight I had lost already.
New to self help I jumped in cold turkey. I found lots of highly sentimental stuff that wasn't helping me at all. I didn't need to get in touch with my inner sad person. My inner sad person wasn't my inner-anything. It was my outer everything and it showed all over. So I moved on to Dr. Phil, who promptly told me to accept and move on. I liked his message--thanks Doc--but got a little tired of his approach.
And then, what's this? It's Callled A Break-Up Because It's Broken by the same guy who wrote, He's just not that into you (an entirely separate book conversation :)) I picked it up, sat down and started reading. Within minutes the tears were rolling down my cheeks, but this time they weren't the same tears of Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? I was laughing so hard I almost peed my pants.
Needless to say I bought the book and brought it home with me and have read it cover to cover, twice. I made the "mistake" of posting this on another board, in a way that perhaps may not have put a good perspective on what the book has to offer.
No question it's not what you "want" to hear. It doesn't tell you how to get them back, that they miss you as much as you miss them and that the only reason they haven't called, haven't come over with a u-haul to bring your a$$ back home is because they are, in fact, trapped by a boulder.
It doesn't say anything even close to that. In fact, it tells you the precise opposite. That he's moved on, and so should you. That he told you all you the most important thing you need to know by breaking up with you (which is--it's a break-up because it's broken. If he left, despite how great you thought it was, it wasn't that great for the other person, and therefore, no matter what you want soooo desperately to think, it is, in fact, over.
I won't summarize the book. But I believe this book is essential to taking yhe next step to moving on and getting on with your own life.
And there are other women out there like me who could take a little humor now and then. So if that's you, check this one out if you haven't already.
Re: for the humor inclined fiona: I agree.. I read the entire book last night in a bookstore. It just made me feel good to read it 'cause it made sense. I also E-mailed all my friends yesterday to tell them how appreciative I have been that they have been putting up with my wet blanket crap in 'getting over it'. I would highly recommend this book, not for the insight or learning to be a better person... It's like a slap across the face from a friend telling you to wake up. And you don't get angry, you just 'get it'. It's an enjoyable read. The only thing that made me feel better was VH1's 50 worst breakups.
