Is it normal for kids to seem happier after split??? changed4ever: I think it's weird that my kids appear happier after the split. Initially they took it hard, but now 9 months later, they seem happier. I'm grateful, but I think that it's strange. There dad definitely does a lot more with them now and because I'm not so crazy trying to please him all the time, me and the kids have more play time. They're closer to my family now and see their cousins, granparents and aunt and uncle all the time. There is no more fighting now. So I guess it makes sense, but I always thought that the kids would want their mom and dad back together again. They are 3 and 6, I guess that they are smarter than me, because until recently all I could think about was reconciling.
Re: Is it normal for kids to seem happier after split??? starzluv: i think it depends on the reason for the divorce. if there was alot of yelling and fighting, or physical abuse (any abuse) then it would seem to be perfectly "normal" to be happy when it stops. if there was no type of abuse i don't know. maybe they desided they were not going to let it drive them crazy. as long as they know that dad will always be dad and mom will always be mom then maybe they have desided they still have their parents, just not together. i hope mine will be happy when all this is settled.
Re: Is it normal for kids to seem happier after split??? WhiskeyGirl: My kids are happier as well. My ex and I fought alot, as much as you try to keep it away from the kids, they see it and I'm sure they heard it while pretending to be asleep in their beds. Now my ex and I get along pretty good for the most part and the kids never see us fight. It makes a big difference. I think my kids do fantasize that we will get back together sometimes, I know my oldest asks sometimes why daddy doesn't move back in..."now that we don't fight anymore" Its hard for a 6 yr old to understand that if he moved back in we WOULD be fighting again LOL
But depending on the circumstances I think its pretty normal for kids to adjust and seem happier. Its a happier home without all the bitterness and argueing....why wouldn't they be happier? ;D
Re: Is it normal for kids to seem happier after split??? jillieb44: My kids are happier, too. I think the tension in the house was stifling, even if the ex and I didn't fight (though we had one or two that the kids witnessed -- the ex was passive aggressive and most of the 'fighting' was underhanded crap -- but I let him have it with both barrels on a couple of occasions cuz I couldn't take it any more).
They now realize that their dad has issues and is not a pleasant person to be around, they don't want to spend weekends with him (he's very controlling and not very involved) though they do get out more with him (he's trying to be the fun dad and take them to movies and fairs and stuff, which is good, while I spend time with them at home and work my arse off to keep a roof over their heads).
Overall it has been a positive thing.
Jillie
Re: Is it normal for kids to seem happier after split??? justmenow: [quote"> They now realize that their dad has issues and is not a pleasant person to be around, they don't want to spend weekends with him (he's very controlling and not very involved) though they do get out more with him (he's trying to be the fun dad and take them to movies and fairs and stuff, which is good, while I spend time with them at home and work my arse off to keep a roof over their heads).
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OMG, I think we were married to the same man... :o
My kids are happier too, now that I'm not so stressed out and short tempered all the time. They get more emotional support and kisses and hugs from me. Made me realize that he wasn't just a cold fish to me, but to his own kids as well. Good riddance.
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