New here my bf dissapeared last week my sad tale brynnemichele: I hope someone will read this because I can't afford professional help and I am desperate and heartbroken this morning. I have been with my boyfriend for three years, lost my virginity to him, first relationship, etc. He cheated on me ten months into our relationship with an exgf and did the dispicable thing of calling me from HER cell phone with her listening in to dump me. After a month of feeling like I had no reason to live, he came crawling back and I took him back. Shortly after that he moved an hour away but our relationship continued with us spending every Tuesday and Friday together, plus minivacations and stuff like that. During this time he's done some crappy things and I've suspected him of cheating many times but something is wrong with me I guess, I just don't want to lose him b/c when its good its REALLY good. I love him so much.
Flash forward to late March of this year. I get a text message from a girl asking how I know her boyfriend. You guessed it, he was cheating on me again, had been for a year. This time with the mother of his child a woman I thought he had broke up with four years ago. I was crushed and immediately went NC, but he came crawling once again after two weeks and I took him back! God how stupid could I be? His lease is up at the end of this month as is mine and we had plans for me to move to his area and get an apartment with him. Starting about two months ago he got an opportunity to go work out of state for three months doing work in the hurricane hit areas. A few weeks ago I got another call from his ex wanting to know why I won't leave him alone. Turns out that he never stopped sleeping with her after our D-day, maybe for about a month but that's it. I found out a lot of horrible things, that he drove her around in my car and they had threesomes and were also planning to move in together. I can't write all of this b/c its too much and too painful but suffice to say that he was making the exact same plans and promises with two different women. This time I told her that she can do whatever she wants to try and keep him away from me, that I am weak when it comes to him but I know I need to get rid of him. He was out of town that day and didn't know she called me, so when he called me acting like nothing was wrong I broke down and confronted him. He told me that she's a lying psycho and just wants him back. I didn't believe him AT ALL but took him back. Don't know why...
He came over a week ago and told me that for the first month he'll be working only an hour or so from my house and he wanted to stay in my apartment and commute. He was even with me when we discussed it with my roommate and when he was getting ready to leave the next day he told me he would move everything in the next day and could I clear out my closet to make room for his stuff. He said he'd call me that night and I spent the night cleaning and taking my bed apart to make room for his much bigger one. I slept on the floor. And that's it, he never called that night and hasn't called since. This was six days ago today, you guys he has vanished into thin air! When he didn't call by the next day I just KNEW you know? And it is hard to get in touch with him because he has no cell or house phone I have to call around to different friends and since he's probably trying to cut me out cold turkey to be with this other girl then its not likely they'd find him for me. I am not driving over there, if she is there I will lose it and end up looking like a fool. I know he is ok b/c I spoke to one of his friends about this nightmare and he told me he will let me know when he's gone out of town. I told him a couple of weeks ago when she called me that if he wants out just tell me. I can handle it but I can't handle not having the truth about my life. I told him if he really wants her we can end it with a kiss goodbye and I can move on. At the time he told me don't ever think that but I think that's what he is doing. The stupid moron, he was supposed to tell me if he wanted that, not just dissapear! (continued on next post)
Re: New here my bf dissapeared last week my sad tale brynnemichele: Here is the rest of it:
It's hard to say I can't believe he did this to me b/c he has done so many shitty hurtful things over the years. Like the Mary J. Blige song, I should have left his ass a thousand times. I am so sad and feel so betrayed. Why did he make it so believable that he was moving in with me and then dissapear the next day? How could he just dissapear on me after so many declarations of love and amazing sex just the day before? I am trying to come to some kind of conclusion about all this but I just can't. What I'm faced with is that either he's going to leave for three months and I'll never see him again or he is going to not leave and move in with C (the other gf) at the end of this month and I'll never see him again. Since I live an hour away and we have no kids or shared friends, I have no valid reason to ever speak to him again. That is an idea I'm not sure I can face. It is nice just to write this b/c I have no one else to talk to. My friends and family think he's a loser and told me in March don't come crying to us anymore. That theres no excuse and now I'm just a willing participant. There are more details to the story but anyone who's made it this far is probably tired of reading. Please someone tell me it will be alright and that I can move on. Right now all I'm doing in staring at the phone, willing it to ring, and this time I don't think it will. Do ya'll think he will ever call me again, or is this it?
Re: New here my bf dissapeared last week my sad tale Suddenly Single: Please hope that he moves in with her and leaves you alone. It will be the best thing that ever happened to you. He is a liar and a cheater. I don't think he is good for you and your family and friends are right. You need to stay away from him...the longer you stay away from him the more you will heal and see how toxic he is for you. I was in a similar situation (not as long...just last summer) with a guy and many parts of the story rung true I got chills when I read what you wrote. I can tell you I was at a low vulnerable time in my life and he took advantage of me. Over a year now away from him (with the help of a restraining order) and I am so much better off.
You will be fine. Go back to your family and friends and tell them you have realized how he is not good for you and you need their help in healing and staying away from him.
Stay Strong...PM if you need to.
HUGS to you....SS
Re: New here my bf dissapeared last week my sad tale Erin: Firstly, welcome to OJAR! Use us as your shoulder to cry on and place to vent!
Secondly, you will be ok and you will be able to move on. Will it be easy? HELL NO! It is going to be one crazy rollercoaster ride. You do not deserve to be treated like this. You deserve to be treated exactly how you need to be. He can not do that for you.
I agree with SS if you really want to be free of him, tell your family and friends that and they will do all that they can to help you through this. They probably feel like they are in a tough spot with what to say b/c you end up back with him and they are afraid of saying something bad about him that could get thrown back at them.
(((BIG HUGS!!!)))
Keep posting!
Re: New here my bf dissapeared last week my sad tale lost enigma: OK FIRST OF ALL, You've come to the right place.
These people are great.
Honestly, DO NOT TAKE THIS MAN BACK if HE EVER COMES BACK.
I know you love him, GOD i know u love him.
He is no good. He has no respect for you or your feelings.
He is obviously very self centered.
He is a cheat and a liar.
You will find someone who will treat you like a Queen.
I know it probably will take a lot of time and tears YOU WILL MOVE PAST THIS.
He is an ass. He is better far away....
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